Blond Jokes

RichardGregory · Red Belt

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, its never been done
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[b]Richard Gregory
Seitou Ryu Karate - Co-Founder/Chief Instructor
Seitou Ryu Karate Forums

RichardGregory · Red Belt

Q:How do u kill a blonde?
A:Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Q: How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day??
A: When her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q:What is the difference between and ironboard and a blond?
A:The legs of an iron are hard to open.

There was a blond driving down a road and spotted at the sign that is on a tree next to a mantion that said $100,000. she called the number and said "i want this item and i will send the money as soon as i get home. three weeks later she got a packege in the mail that had keys so she caled the guy and asked "what are the keys for" the guy said " they are for the mantion. the blond said "Wow, i thought that i was buying the tree.

Ok once there was a magical mirror and if you lied in front of it youd disappear from existance... so there was a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette went up to it and said,"I think that blondes are nice".... poof she disappeared. So the redhead went up to it and said,"I'm a virgin" poof she dissappeared. The blonde went up to it and said,"I Think" poof she was gone.
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[b]Richard Gregory
Seitou Ryu Karate - Co-Founder/Chief Instructor
Seitou Ryu Karate Forums

KarateK · Black Belt

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Moral -Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
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Karate Ni Sentinashi

KataGirl · White Belt

Why did the blonde have a bruised belly button?
Because blonde guys are dumb too.

KataGirl · White Belt

Why do blondes work on weekends?
So they don't have to be re-trained on Monday.

Orion · Blue Belt

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They step up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.

The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's jigsaw puzzle. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture explains, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.

"The side of the box said 2 to 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
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Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

glockmeister · Green Belt

A Blonde lady cop pulls over a blonde woman for speeding.
"May I see your driver's license?" she asks.
"What's it look like?" the blonde driver asks.
"It's rectangle, smooth and shiny and has your picture on it." The blonde lady cop replies.
The blonde driver looks through her purse and finds a small mirror looks into it and hands it to the cop. "Here it is."
The blonde lady cop looks at it and says. "Oh i didn't know you were a cop, have a nice day." and hands it back to her.
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"You know the best thing about pain? It let's you know you're not dead yet!"

Leopard claw · Orange Belt

Why was the blonde girl fired from the M&M factory? She keep printing the M's upside down.
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How many nuns could a nunchuk chuck if a nunchuk could chuck nuns?

Shotokan-kez · Black Belt

I don't know any blonde jokes but these are hilarious, thanks everyone for giving me a good giggle!
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