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ironsifu
Yellow Belt
Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Posts: 83
Location: Sacramento, CA
Styles: jow ga kung fu
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 Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:31 am Post subject: |
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hi
i think about this question myself, because some of my teachers have the favorite student (which some people might call, a "close door" student) themselves. i even been one.
there is a place for this kind of practice, but i dont have a lot of time to explain it now, but let me offer this advice, given to me by my grandpa. a good teacher, makes all of his students feel like he is the favorite student. a favorite student really is a close door student, which you do not show to the others, which can stop a student who is on his way to proving himself, from getting better because he is jealous.
this is a good question.
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DWx
KF Sensei
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 2133
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi
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| Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| ironsifu wrote: |
| ...a good teacher, makes all of his students feel like he is the favorite student... |
I'd agree with that 
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"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius |
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Sibylla
Orange Belt
Joined: 19 May 2003
Posts: 155
Styles: Kickboxing, FMA, MMA
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:39 am Post subject: |
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| I disagree..by open favoritism, even if it's directed towards all, you encourage opportunism, competition, social manipulation, and behavior that is centered around pleasing someone else. Imo training from your own motivation is what should be encouraged and appreciated. Every student should feel valued and respected but that is different from being favorite.. |
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Blade96
Orange Belt
Joined: 19 Nov 2009
Posts: 225
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Styles: Shotokan Karate-Do 8th Kyu (yellow belt)
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Sibylla wrote: |
| I disagree..by open favoritism, even if it's directed towards all, you encourage opportunism, competition, social manipulation, and behavior that is centered around pleasing someone else. Imo training from your own motivation is what should be encouraged and appreciated. Every student should feel valued and respected but that is different from being favorite.. |
I'd agree with that, my sensei still hugs me a lot on friday when he did it before he left, a black belt friend of mine saw it and she said afterwards, 'I saw sensei throw an arm around you he certainly seems to love you' I said Oh ya he does. But, I added, They love everybody. (i know they do, but they also have favorites. I just wanted to let her know she also is loved, even though the senseis do say me 'im their girl' and one of their faves, everyone is loved and they should be.) and I hugged her and told her she is one of my good friends. 
I also threw my arms up in the air tonight after finishing heian shodan as practice for my yellow belt test and I said, "Thats for us whites. We're all going to pass!"
No matter senseis treat me as a fave, I love everyone in the dojo and i make em all feel they're important too.
I think people need have no fear or jealousy of me. I certainly dont bite.
_________________
Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.
You don't have to blow out someone else's candle in order to let your own flame shine. |
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Sibylla
Orange Belt
Joined: 19 May 2003
Posts: 155
Styles: Kickboxing, FMA, MMA
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:57 am Post subject: |
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| Great job on deflecting what could have been a hint of jealousy there from the black belt... |
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Blade96
Orange Belt
Joined: 19 Nov 2009
Posts: 225
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Styles: Shotokan Karate-Do 8th Kyu (yellow belt)
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Sibylla wrote: |
| Great job on deflecting what could have been a hint of jealousy there from the black belt... |
There definitely is a hint of jealousy. It appears white owl was right about that. After class tonight, I took aside my brown belt friend, who had known the senseis longer than me, and said, "are they always so affectionate? This is about the 6th or 7th friday class in arow he's given me a hug." not only that he spends more time correcting other students' techniques in class (even the other qhite belts) more than mine. I think its probably cause i was doing it right. (even though, come on! it was the very first time I had tried ushiro geri! some advice would be nice lol! )
and brown belt friend said, "why doesnt he give me a hug? Its true. I have never ever seen him hug her.
and then I said "good question. Why doesnt he hug you?" letting her know I think everyone in the dojo should get a hug cause they're all terrific students and good people and all a pocketful of fly.
I wrote her an email later in which i said this, and also that given the fact most of them are higher belts, been there longer, trained longer, have known the senseis longer, than I, that they might actually be a little MORE worthy, than I, given their seniority. as I am just a nearly 5 month little white belt.
trying to deflect any jealousy is what i do at times. I dont think anyone need have any fear of me.
_________________
Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.
You don't have to blow out someone else's candle in order to let your own flame shine. |
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white owl
KF Sempai
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 1631
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Styles: shotokan
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| Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I really think you should talk to the Sensei and ask them not to hug you in front of other students. I know you are deflecting alot of it but they might start thinking more of it then. Especially if you are doing it all of the time. Like you have something to hide. |
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Sibylla
Orange Belt
Joined: 19 May 2003
Posts: 155
Styles: Kickboxing, FMA, MMA
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| Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:30 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with White Owl. This (the hugging and stuff) will do you no good. You have to consider your dojo mates, and what it can stir up. |
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on the post.
