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Am I overreacting? (Be honest!)
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Total Votes : 13

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FangPwnsAll7
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Posts: 377
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Styles: Tang Soo Do

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:25 pm    Post subject: My Story Reply with quote

I go to a Tang Soo Do school that is only 10 minutes away from my house by car. I liked it, and I never thought I would get this far. I am a 5th kyu, or a green belt with two stripes. Going there for the first time as a white belt, I knew that's what I wanted to do with my life. About a few months after I joined, all of these foreign people walk in and they sign up their kids to take karate. To be perfectly honest, I hated them. I am not racist, but it really bothers me. The reason is because the instructor seems to favor them over everyone else. They all seem to hate me, too. I even overheard one of them saying "Wow, I'm having a difficult time, even against someone as bad as you!"

The instructor is also Mexican, and my parents hate him. I even asked one of the students why he was treating me the way he did, and you wouldn't believe what he said. "Because you're American!" My parents say that it is unfair because our instructor lets all of them in for free, and they do not even have to pay for belt tests. I even go to the last class of the day, because that's when the least amount of Mexican's go. I'm under a contract with these people, but it ends in November. When it's up, I'm gone. Does this mean I quit martial arts? Of course not! I'm transferring the a different school in the same organization. It's only 45 minutes away by car, and I know I'll like it a lot better.

The boys in the family always make fun of me and touch me in a place I would rather not be touched. They make rude comments towards everyone but themselves! And for those of you who did not know, I am a girl. We all have attendance cards, and one of them crossed out my name on my card, and put a swear word. Sometimes they call me that instead of what I like to be called, my real name.

This post probably made me sound racist, but it's true. This probably sounds more like a rant than anything else, but I'm seriously considering transferring. I get to keep my rank.

What are your thoughts?
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JusticeZero
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2166
Location: AK
Styles: Capoeira Angola

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That behavior is completely unacceptable.
You are completely right not to want to be exposed to such abuse. You are an awesome young woman who needs to be respected as a talented human being.
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"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - Baleia
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Harkon72
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Posts: 1875
Location: Wales
Styles: Okinawan Karate, Aikido, Ninpo.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have come across racism in martial arts; it's a very complex and controversial issue. I have been in classes where the instructor takes more notice and teaches some people more because of their race. It's ugly and I don't like it. I was once in a restaurant with a Japanese Sensei, as he approached me, I bowed to him. He respectfully bowed back. My slightly drunk friend was horrified; "Why are you bowing to him? He's a human being! He's a Nip! Do you think he really sees you as an equal?!" There are many issues of respect here, martial arts are built on Honor and Respect; if there are none in your Dojo; please look else where. My Sensei looks me straight in the eye, I would trust him with my life. I hope you find a respectful teacher, you deserve it.
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FangPwnsAll7
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Posts: 377
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Styles: Tang Soo Do

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, I'm going to have to get out of there. I just got back from class and someone wrote on the wall. "Mexicans suck" and it was signed my name. I didn't do it, but at least all I got was a warning. I'm transferring in November.
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Tang Soo Do - Red Belt (2nd GUP)
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JusticeZero
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2166
Location: AK
Styles: Capoeira Angola

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Given the unwanted physical contact, you may well have legal grounds to be out of there immediately. I don't know the details exactly, so i'm waiting for someone more qualified on the subject to chime in.
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FangPwnsAll7
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Posts: 377
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Styles: Tang Soo Do

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was thinking that, too. I actually brought up the subject with the instructor, but he said that if he didn't see it, it didn't happen. I had my friend tell him that it was true, but my instructor told me that she was seeing things. I hope I can transfer soon; the sooner, the better.
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Tang Soo Do - Red Belt (2nd GUP)
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ninjanurse
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Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Posts: 6154
Location: Upstate NY
Styles: TKD;Shotokan;JuJitsu;Tai Ji

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why are you waiting until November? No amount of money is worth this kind of treatment....you might get your money back or not but you would keep your dignity.


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Tae Kwon Do,Shotokan,Ju Jitsu,Modern Arnis
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FangPwnsAll7
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 11 Jul 2012
Posts: 377
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Styles: Tang Soo Do

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's because I'm under a contract with the instructor. Trust me, I'd leave now if I could. There was a very offensive note left in my bag with my sparring equipment I just found. Maybe if I show it to the instructor he'll punish them.

Here's a picture of the note. I went back up there, and he said it was a misunderstanding... The entire thing is grammatically incorrect, too. Not really sure what to feel right now.



Should I keep it to show someone later?
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JusticeZero
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2166
Location: AK
Styles: Capoeira Angola

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, i'm pretty much waiting until an LEO or someone who knows more about the laws and such can come in and give some better advice. I'm seeing what looks like two serious business things to address.
Yes, keep everything. Keep records of when and where you found it.
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"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - Baleia
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AdamKralic
Blue Belt
Blue Belt

Joined: 11 Jan 2013
Posts: 313
Location: Chicagoland

PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They are idiots. If the instructor wants to give free lessons to idiots...then don't be the sucker that pays.

I'd tell them that you will file formal complaints to the better business bureau and the police.

or he can immediately rip up the contract and apologize.

Putting up with abusive behavior is bad for you immediately and in the future as that stuff can leave mental scars. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER.
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