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Goju_boi
Black Belt
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: Houston , Texas
Styles: Goju ryu , Kobudo , and just started Capoeira
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 Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 9:47 am Post subject: |
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Like thaiboxerken said, I thing he should just try hooking upwith her ,because it seems that she might like him and thats the only way she knows of getting his attention
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D@N
White Belt
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 8
Styles: Goju, Shotokan
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| Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:32 am Post subject: |
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hummm, while his self control is astounding, one should always remember not to be the victim or tolerate abuse.... it often leads to worse treatment. I think someone should look into that girl a bit more and make sure she herself is not being abused in some way, nearly all bullies are victims of some kind of mistreatment.
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Goju_boi
Black Belt
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: Houston , Texas
Styles: Goju ryu , Kobudo , and just started Capoeira
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| Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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"nearly all bullies are victims of some kind of mistreatment"
Why do you say that?
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CagedWarrior
Orange Belt
Joined: 04 Aug 2005
Posts: 158
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| Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not advocating the hospitalizing of a little girl or anything... but if someone, anyone, physically assaults me and actually poses a threat, I take them out if I have to. I don't care if the person has different gentalia than I have. If they don't pose a real threat, I'd just physically restrain them- with pain if they make it necessary. Am I supposed to be sorry about that? No one but guys way bigger than me, or with a bunch of friends, or weapon(s), will get to hit me with a golden pass. |
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D@N
White Belt
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 8
Styles: Goju, Shotokan
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 4:01 am Post subject: |
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| Goju_boi wrote: |
"nearly all bullies are victims of some kind of mistreatment"
Why do you say that? |
It's classic psychology, most bullies were bullied at some point in their life.
By allowing the girl to get away with what she did, L was allowing himself to become a victim. I'm not saying he should have hit her, just that ignoring it in most cases will only make a bully try harder (which is what happend).
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Goju_boi
Black Belt
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: Houston , Texas
Styles: Goju ryu , Kobudo , and just started Capoeira
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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So should this kid just go smack her upside the head or something?
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D@N
White Belt
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 8
Styles: Goju, Shotokan
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 3:18 am Post subject: |
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| D@N wrote: |
| I'm not saying he should have hit her, just that ignoring it in most cases will only make a bully try harder (which is what happend). |
No!!, its not an easy situation to be in, I think that the best line to take would be not to take any crap in the first place (once again I dont mean hit her) but once you allow the teasing/abuse to start you have created a precedent for it to continue.
Not being there I can't say for sure but it sounds like possibly physically putting back in her seat with a few harsh words might have gone a long way??
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White Warlock
Black Belt
Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 2662
Styles: See my Intro
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 5:47 am Post subject: |
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physical contact of such a nature would very likely have escalated the scene. Also, it needs to be considered, and so far it hasn't, the social impact of confronting a female when you are a male.
And with, another story:
When i was 12 years old, my brother's friend was roughhousing with me in the middle of the schoolyard. Me being pretty tiny at the time, some girl thought he was abusing me, so she came over and kicked him in the leg and yelled at him. He got angry and grabbed her. Big mistake...
In a matter of seconds, the entire... and i emphasize this... the entire schoolyard came swarming in. It was all we could do to protect my friend as we slowly moved toward the class' building. A few instructors came out of the building, saw the scene, and went right back in... not wanting to be a casualty of mob mentality.
I have other similar stories. The point here is, a guy striking or getting physical with a woman is not readily accepted. In fact, at the k-12 levels of school, it could very well turn into a mob scene. A lot of guys, regardless of whether a girl is right or wrong, want to play the role of knight in shining armor. Add to that the gender comraderie that women/girls have, and you are asking for a world of hurt if you strike, or even 'grab,' a female in a public setting. Worse is, many females know this and exploit it.
No, i think what the boy did was appropriate. A difficult choice, but appropriate. It is not merely the adversary you must consider, but the scene, the spectators, and the consequences.
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Goju_boi
Black Belt
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: Houston , Texas
Styles: Goju ryu , Kobudo , and just started Capoeira
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:34 am Post subject: |
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Maybe he should just consider riding a bike to school 
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Why_Worry
Blue Belt
Joined: 30 Aug 2005
Posts: 290
Location: Cherry Hill (Hills of Cherrys)
Styles: Karate
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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Good story. Reminds me of somethings at school. Your son is actually a role model in some ways to me now because of the self control and patience he had. He must be very wise and kind (and probably friendly ((otherwise he probably would have hit them a long time ago)) too) if he was that patient with that much self control.
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on the post.
