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the undead shall feast
White Belt
Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Winchester Indiana
Styles: none as of yet
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 Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 6:55 am Post subject: What should I do? |
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I've been looking into and reading all about martial arts latly and I plan on taking jiu jitsu once I've learned a little more about it. My big brother who is around 250 lbs. , a violent drunk, and a good fighter, wants me to teach him what I learn. This guy flys off the handle over nothing sometimes, and if i tell him I'm not gonna teach him jack he'll prolly fly off the handle about that too, if i teach him one of the main purposes of my learning self defense will be in vain. what can i do to avoid these sort of conflicts with him. btw, he's the type who feels he has to be the alpha male all the time as well.....
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Revenge is a dish best served cold. |
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ninjanurse
KF Sensei
Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Posts: 3990
Location: Upstate NY
Styles: TKD;Shotokan;JuJitsu;Tai Ji
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:01 am Post subject: |
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Do not teach him...invite him to class. If he declines, enough said. As far as domestic violence goes there are laws in this country to protect you and you should take advantage of them...for both your sakes-it sounds like your brother needs help!
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"A Black Belt is only the beginning."
Heidi-A student of the arts
Tae Kwon Do,Shotokan,JuJitsu,TaiJi |
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RealWingChunKuen
Yellow Belt
Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 79
Location: London, UK
Styles: Wing Chun (Mainland chinese lineage).
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:47 am Post subject: Re: What should I do? |
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| the undead shall feast wrote: |
| I've been looking into and reading all about martial arts latly and I plan on taking jiu jitsu once I've learned a little more about it. My big brother who is around 250 lbs. , a violent drunk, and a good fighter, wants me to teach him what I learn. This guy flys off the handle over nothing sometimes, and if i tell him I'm not gonna teach him jack he'll prolly fly off the handle about that too, if i teach him one of the main purposes of my learning self defense will be in vain. what can i do to avoid these sort of conflicts with him. btw, he's the type who feels he has to be the alpha male all the time as well..... |
When you do take your jiu jitsu classes and if he wants you to teach him you can be "diplomatic" and tell him that you haven't learnt anything that he doesn't know already. Whatever you do don't teach him any techniques as people who are violently inclined will be more likely to make any technique work for them.
This is because such people will enter conflicts with a lot of INTENT. Intent on its own can win you fights. Intent combined with technique can be a powerful weapon which in the wrong hands can cause a lot of damage/suffering.
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Fighting arts that were not effective for fighting and selfdefense, never lasted long enough in martial arts history, to gain the Traditional Martial Arts - TMA - status. |
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KarateEd
KF Sempai
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Posts: 608
Location: Alabama
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:09 am Post subject: |
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| ninjanurse wrote: |
| Do not teach him...invite him to class. |
I agree with ninjanurse. If he presses the issue do as RealWingChunKuen and AikiGuy suggest, be diplomatic, stall him, and, if you feel that you have to show him something, do it very incompetently with the excuse "hey, I just started, I haven't learned much."
Ed |
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AngelaG
Pre-Black Belt
Joined: 24 Jul 2004
Posts: 865
Location: Devon, UK
Styles: Shotokan
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:19 am Post subject: |
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If you are really worried about it and think that he won't attend class then you could try showing him stuff that doesn't work. He may get the view that what you study is rubbish and give up. Of course he will probably ridicule you for wasting your time, but as long as you don't rise to it (after all you know better) then he won't ask you to teach him any more.
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Tokonkai Karate-do Instructor
http://www.karateresource.com
Kata, Bunkai, Articles, Reviews, History, Uncovering the Myths, Discussion Forum |
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G95champ
Black Belt
Joined: 29 Mar 2002
Posts: 3067
Location: Gilbert WV, USA
Styles: Shotokan Karate (FSKA)
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:15 am Post subject: |
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If your just taking it for the first time you won't be able to teach him. Yeah you can do what you do in class but you won't be able to teach him.
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(General George S. Patton Jr.) "It's the unconquerable soul of man, and not the nature of the weapon he uses, that ensures victory." |
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danbong
Orange Belt
Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Posts: 146
Location: Sacramento
Styles: tae kuk mu sul, TKD, shotokan
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Many good ideas so far. You can also tell him that you will get introuble and kicked out of the school if you teach without being authorized. |
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ps1
Black Belt
Joined: 09 Nov 2004
Posts: 1713
Location: NE Ohio
Styles: Chuan Fa, Shotokan, JJJ, BJJ
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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Here's a couple of ideas.
Tell him you're not allowed to teach him. ie: the instructor doesn't allow it.
Tell him you're not good enough at the techniques to teach him.
Tell him you don't remember the techniques.
Teach them completely wrong, so he sees it doesn't work and stops asking.
Start teaching a technique and act like you can't remember it properly. You know say things like, "no wait, it's like this, no...like this...I just can't seem to get it."
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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
www.ohiobjj.com |
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 13977
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, and I research Medieval Combat
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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| ninjanurse wrote: |
Do not teach him...invite him to class. If he declines, enough said. As far as domestic violence goes there are laws in this country to protect you and you should take advantage of them...for both your sakes-it sounds like your brother needs help!
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I agree with this sentiment. If it is possible, seperate yourself from him. If it is not, then find someone you can talk to about it, and see what you can do about it. Stay safe.
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Success is where preparation meets opportunity.
www.chiefswarpath.com |
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jaymac
Black Belt
Joined: 14 Dec 2005
Posts: 1131
Styles: shotokan (nidan)
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| Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:11 am Post subject: |
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Good replies. As others have said, do not teach him. In most dojo's /dojangs, it is one of the rules that what you have been taught, is not to be shown to any non-student outside the facility, for the exact reason you are saying. Your brother would use it to hurt others and not to just defend himself. In doing so, you could be expelled from the training facility indefinetely. Tell him, if he is interested in learning, take classes from a trained instructor.
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A great martial artist is one who is humble and respectful of others. |
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on the post.
