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Spartacus Maximus
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Posts: 1227

Styles: Shorin ryu

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It depends on the seriousness of the problems, but in some cases youth should be given a chance. This is not to say that infractions or breaches of confidence should be without consequence, but the age and maturity of the individual should be considered when deciding what to do.

Fighting is prohibited by civil and criminal laws. Either he learns to control himself and realizes that being a violent hot-head is dangerous; or he will keep following that path until he is crippled or killed be people more violent than him or until he is in prison because of his stupid impulsive aggressive behaviours.

The most important thing this hoodlum ought to be taught is that there is a world of difference between respect and fear. People who cannot control themselves do not belong in martial arts and should not be taught.

Beating people up at the drop of a hat because of a look or words do not get respect or power. What they get is a reputation for being a thug. Thugs can only ever get along with others thugs whose only motivation is fear and selfish personal gains and cheap, fleeting insignificant glory or status.

Who cares if highschool peers think one is weak or coward? Does it really matter what they say about one's mother and will it all matter in six months? Or six years? The answer is No, no without hesitation and second thought.
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DWx
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 5607
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sensei8 wrote:
tallgeese wrote:
DWx wrote:
I'm not sure I would discipline him per se. I'm not sure what your remit is at the teen center but as you say, you're not his parent or guardian.

Personally I wouldn't discipline him by banning him from sparring as it would make him resent you rather than actually stopping him from fighting again. Have a chat with him maybe about your expectations but it sounds as though he isn't deliberately going around starting fights but a stupid teenager letting his emotions get the better of him.


I'm with this. It's teenage stuff. I wouldn't worry about it.

So, you both condone it?? Expectations, seem to me, are not being meet. Age, shouldn't excuse the unwanted actions of students. Allow one, you have to allow others, and this is a pot being stirred until it overflows.

Imho!!



No I don't condone it. But what will banning him from sparring acheive? Will it convince him to stop reacting like this? To me it seems unlikely. Especially as this is a "troubled" teen. Better to use it as a learning opportunity.
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Alan Armstrong
Brown Belt
Brown Belt

Joined: 28 Feb 2016
Posts: 713


PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps a role play (of the aforementioned incident) could be re-enacted for the TKD teacher and students.

Then the TKD teacher could teach everyone what the appropriate course of action should have been.

All benefitting and learning from one person's mistake.
Then if a similar situation occurs in the future, all of the students will be better equipped and ready to respond appropriately without the need for violence.
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MatsuShinshii
Blue Belt
Blue Belt

Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Posts: 272

Styles: Matsumura Shorin Ryu, Ryukyu Kenpo, Kobudo

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2016 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This to me would be quite simple.

I teach my students that if they are attacked they defend themselves to the extent that they can get away from the situation. If they are the attacker I stop teaching them.

We are essentially teaching our students ways to hurt, main, disable and kill. This comes with a greater responsibility for the teacher as we are the ones that must judge a students maturity and ability to make decisions with the skills that we teach.

This is just one of the many reasons I refuse to take on students younger than 16 years old. I can judge a students character pretty quickly at this age and recognize if they are a hot head, show off or mean spirited individual.

At this age and older a persons character is already evident and not likely to be hidden easily. The first time they are on the mat their character is revealed.

If I feel that they are more apt to be the aggressor than the defender then I simply show them the door.

This of course is a personal opinion but I feel that if you have already made your feelings on the subject known, i'd show him the door.

We have all been teenagers and I was no angel either, but today's society is different from when some of us grew up. A fight was nothing more than two individuals going at it after school and everyone went home albeit maybe with a broken nose, busted lip or black eye. Today someone may not make it home. The other issue to think about is people were not apt to get lawyers involved back in the day and certainly not go after a instructor. However times have changed in this sue happy world and again, you as the instructor have the lions share of risk and responsibility.

The mere idea that we hold no responsibility for what our students do and how they act must be a newer mentality. I was always taught that our students are a reflection of us and our teachings.

It sounds like he doesn't have much self control or he is more worried about his image and what his friends will think about him. Why else would he go after this guy unprovoked?

If he were my student I'd show him the door. And I have shown students the door and will continue to. You have to remember that your time and what you are teaching is valuable. Why waste it on a student that disregards your teachings and shows you and your teachings so little respect?

You are not his parent but you are a role model. If you allow this behavior to go unchecked, what do you think you teach the rest of your students?

Your student's respect for you goes out the door every time you back pedal on what you require of them as a condition for you teaching them your art.
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