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KickChick
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 02 Aug 2001
Posts: 3282


PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For more good advice on handling fear, intimidation and other mental aspects of possible confrontations read through the Strategies/Tactics http://www.karateforums.com/viewforum.php?f=32 ..... although (like I said) this forum is really for discussion of the spiritual and philisophical aspects of the martial arts.
I don't find intimidation as either one .... but oh well,

Good link Jerry ...
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Maestro
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Posts: 381

Styles: Traditonal Tae kwon do, Taiji Chuan (Yang)

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know if this might apply or not but...At least in my own case, I was not usually afraid of a fight in itself, but I was afraid that a fight is going to start before I'm ready for it, you know? Like I pass a suspicious charater in the street then he punches me in the kidney? It could be that that is really what you are afraid of, and if so, it might help to know that that usually doesn't happen, just about any fight is initiated with a dialogue of SOME type--it'd be one audacious bastard who just walks up and punches ya in the gut. If not, and you fear the actual fight itself, then I gotta agree with Kensai, not too much you can do about it except be exposed to it.
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JerryLove
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 1274
Location: Tampa, FL, US

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I gotta agree with Kensai, not too much you can do about it except be exposed to it.


I disagree and reiterat my previous suggestion. You can put yourself into action without throwing a punch. Marching your feet is a good start... welcoming postures are another.
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MuayThai Fighter
Blue Belt
Blue Belt

Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 303
Location: Vancouver,BC
Styles: MuayThai,Submission Wrestling,Pankration,Karate

PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:57 am    Post subject: Re: anyone know any ways to stop feeling intimidated? Reply with quote

KerouacKev wrote:
This might sound weird but i get really anxious when i see anyone coming towards me in the street at night. i guess i'm scared of being attacked which is one of the main reasons i got into MA, yet it hasn't seemed to have changed anything. i think i lack self confidence, does anyone have any tips or stories about developing self estem?


If you joined martial arts for self-defense stop doing traditional arts,what you learn with those katas won't work in reality,they are hopeless.

Join pankration or shoot fighting,based specifically for street-defense.

If not interested in those artsi, buy pepper spray or a gun,depending on the gun rules of your country or just don't walk out at night.
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KerouacKev
White Belt
White Belt

Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Posts: 16
Location: Sunny England
Styles: Wado-Ryu Karate

PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 8:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Wado-Ryu Club is the only club it's realistic for me to attend regularly due to where i live and lack of a car. As for buying a gun they're illegal in Britain and even if they weren't i don't think that would solve anything as i beleive they cause problems rather than solve them.
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BKJ1216
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 22 Feb 2003
Posts: 1145
Location: Yakima, Washington
Styles: Shudokan Karate

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2003 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There will never be a cure for intimidation. The best thing you can do if you get intimidated is to evaluate the situation. Your able to handle yourself, you have to be confident. You can take any obstical thrown at you. Keep that attitude and you most likley won't be intimidated easily.
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Smith & Wesson
Orange Belt
Orange Belt

Joined: 06 Mar 2003
Posts: 119


PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2003 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Plenty of beer
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jmy77
Orange Belt
Orange Belt

Joined: 10 Feb 2003
Posts: 150
Location: Long Island, New York
Styles: White Tiger Kempo Karate

PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2003 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Cheers for your help guys, i guess it seems like something i'll just have to live with!"

BULLCRAP!

This is not something you have to learn to live with. It is however something only you can learn to control (notice I did not say overcome). Intimidation = fear - you allow yourself to be intimidated by allowing your fear to control you.

Now, fear is natural, fear is important, fear (when in check) keeps you safe. Anyone who says they have no fear is either F.O.S. or mentally unbalanced.

Someone suggeseted that you plan, anticipate what you would do, while this may work for that person it may not work for you, I know it would not work for me because when I start thinking about the potential for fight or I start planning I start to get amped (you know, blood starts flowing harder, muscles tense up, get a buzzed feeling in your head, etc.) And being amped may make that situation worse. Ex. Say the guy stops and asks for the time – in my mind I am preparing for him to pull a knife or try to blind side me with a strike – I would initially react very poorly.

What I find works for me when I start to get that uneasy feeling associated with intimidation is to take a few very deep breathes, relax my hands and shoulders, try to clear my mind, remind myself that this person has not done anything (yet) that I should be wary of them, remind myself that if necessary I can handle myself and always stay conscious of my environment.

Fear is mental. It’s is something you need to work on. You have to find your own way.

But never, ever succumb, never let any emotion control you – you must master your body and mind.

Kensai’s idea of desensitizing yourself is probably the most effective but I agree, it’s also not best thing to do.

As always, just my opinion.
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KickChick
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 02 Aug 2001
Posts: 3282


PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2003 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jmy77 wrote:
Someone suggested that you plan, anticipate what you would do, while this may work for that person it may not work for you, I know it would not work for me because when I start thinking about the potential for fight or I start planning I start to get amped (you know, blood starts flowing harder, muscles tense up, get a buzzed feeling in your head, etc.) And being amped may make that situation worse. Ex. Say the guy stops and asks for the time – in my mind I am preparing for him to pull a knife or try to blind side me with a strike – I would initially react very poorly.


Case in point..... I posted a while back in Strategies Forum somewhere the recent incident of being robbed in a store. So naturally everytime I enter a store I am in anticipation of the same scenario occuring (with a very different ending mind you!!)
Well a couple of weeks ago I am walking towards the store and an SUV is parked out front. A guy gets out as I approach the entrance of the store and stands so as I could walk right past him .... and he then follows me in. AHA I say.... he is after something!
He says to me.... "Aw c'mon honey life can't be that bad!" .... (he is reading my facial expression) so I say... "Oh it shows" and continue on to the produce aisle to stock up on some veggies.....
After about 10 minutes or so I "feel" uncomfortable... as if someone is behind me too close.... I turn and grab this guy (the same guy from the front of the store) and put him into a wrist lock. He screams.... "Hey gorgeous I just wanted to put a smile on your face"....
Yeah well you almost did I say!!

So he was trying to "pick me up" ... and not rob me

More on Intimidation here..........
http://www.karateforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1267

Like I said earlier there are more posts in the Strategies Forum that more properly relate to the subject.
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JerryLove
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 1274
Location: Tampa, FL, US

PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2003 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congradulations.. you are guilty of battery.
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