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GS718Trek
Yellow Belt
Yellow Belt

Joined: 08 Oct 2014
Posts: 77


PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2021 1:34 pm    Post subject: Are you the only MA hobbyist within your friends? Reply with quote

are you the only martial arts hobbyist in your circle of friends/family?

Do you feel that you can only share the interest with people that train with you, or do you have friends that share same interest?

most of my friends are fanatics of Football and Basketball. I am pretty much outkast from their conversations once they get on a roll of talking about their sports (which can go on for hours lol) they are still my good friends, but its what can keep me the black sheep of the group when discussing hobbies.
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Questor
White Belt
White Belt

Joined: 03 Apr 2021
Posts: 19
Location: Melbourne, Aus
Styles: Shukokai

PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2021 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get better friends? *grins*

But seriously, that's ok. I have found that I have become friends with the people I train with, or some of them at least, and we can all indulge our MA passion together.
It's good that not everyone is into the same things, though not if people can't take the hint if you're obviously not interested in what they are talking about.
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ashworth
Brown Belt
Brown Belt

Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 607
Location: UK
Styles: Kankoko No Ryu, shotokan, IJR Karate, Iaido, Kobudo

PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2021 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had this problem a lot when I was younger, I did have friends that joined, but none of them seemed to last very long... as mentioned above, I did also become friends with people I have trained with.

Now that I am older and run my own class its harder to become friends with the students and maintain the instructor-student relationship, don't get me wrong I'm friendly with them and we do have a type of friendship, but I will always be their instructor. Only exception is my first student, he became one of my best friends and is now the second instructor in my club.
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Zaine
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 1835
Location: Dallas, TX
Styles: Matsumura-Seito, Shobayashi-Ryu, Shudokan, Long Fist, American Street Karate, Southern Mantis, HEMA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2021 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have 1 friend who is in to karate, but we don't really speak much anymore. In my day-to-day life, I don't have anyone to talk about martial arts in person with. That's part of the reason that I like this community so much! There are so many awesome people here to nerd out with! Otherwise, I am friendly with the people in my dojo, and I would consider them my friends, but much like work friends we only gather in one place (COVID certainly doesn't help there, though). I do have some friends who, in the past, have taken karate and made it, at most, to 5th kyu before waning. They sometimes "talk shop" with me about it but can't go as deep into the conversation because I've stuck with it and have a much broader scope of knowledge. Maybe one day!
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sensei8
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 15565
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]

PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2021 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MA for me isn't a hobby; it's a rather serious daily MA journey.

So, no, I'm not a MA hobbyist in my circle of friends/family. Not at all, nor do I want to be. Amongst my friends and family, there's quite a plethora of different interests. I will say, with the exception of my daughter, Krystal, I'm the only MAist within my family. Krystal no longer trains in the MA; she's pursued other interests.

As far as my circle of friends is concerned, I've a very diverse company of friends. Some are and some aren't MAist. Which for me is ideal because if I only had MA friends, my life would be very limited and, if I might be honest, super boring.




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Nidan Melbourne
KF Sempai
KF Sempai

Joined: 21 Aug 2013
Posts: 2284
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Styles: Goju-Ryu, BJJ, Balintawak Arnis

PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My day to day friends aren't really into MA, but I am good friends with my fellow instructors that I spend a fai chunk of time with
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Himokiri Karate
Blue Belt
Blue Belt

Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Posts: 345

Styles: Boxing, Korean Karate

PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Karate and yoga is easy to make friends. In boxing, my personal experience is that you will find many false friends and enemies.

Reason is, Karate is a pursuit of self-mastery, attainment of skills, becoming a person who has propensity for logical thinking and deductive reasoning because the moves that you are learning requires concentration and continuous effort for improvement. Also my style being Korean Karate tends to favor kicks and so I have to make sure I am resting, stretching and strengthening for health and longevity purposes since I am playing the long game.


Boxing was my main passion in my 20s, sadly, I met so many horrible human beings that it made me jaded. Maybe its the promise of money, fame and glory that attracts practitioners that may not be the most virtuous individuals. In boxing, I have only met one truly great human being. In boxing and fighting you here the classical "this guy is trying to take food out of my families mouth" line that many subscribe to. Because of that I find boxing to be a danger zone and not a place to make friends. That being said, boxing techniques are magical and breathtaking. It truly is a never ending art that can never be fully mastered and its a beautiful science to learn. Main problem is the culture surrounding it. The actual art is fantastic to learn.

Hence my attraction towards karate was the value. Its not about becoming a famous fighter but its more about mastery and attaining new techniques and even uncovering lost secrets of ancient martial arts through meditation and exercising in creative ways to uncover new moves. When you do that, the rest will come to you. Because of this, I noticed people in karate circles are easier to befriend because they have this healthy outlook towards self-mastery. This leads to friendship because you improving is not going to diminish me in any shape or form and vice versa. We are in this together!

TANG SOO!
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Spartacus Maximus
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Posts: 1875

Styles: Shorin ryu

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 8:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personal experience has taught me to avoid the subject of my training, keep to a strict minimum those who are aware of it and keep it completely secret from everyone and anyone else.
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Zaine
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 1835
Location: Dallas, TX
Styles: Matsumura-Seito, Shobayashi-Ryu, Shudokan, Long Fist, American Street Karate, Southern Mantis, HEMA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spartacus Maximus wrote:
Personal experience has taught me to avoid the subject of my training, keep to a strict minimum those who are aware of it and keep it completely secret from everyone and anyone else.
That sounds really lonely. What experiences have lead you to that conclusion?
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 29100
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE

PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2021 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zaine wrote:
Spartacus Maximus wrote:
Personal experience has taught me to avoid the subject of my training, keep to a strict minimum those who are aware of it and keep it completely secret from everyone and anyone else.
That sounds really lonely. What experiences have lead you to that conclusion?


I can relate to this. Many who don't understand it will often poke at you with the typical stereotypes of the excessive "HYAAs" and "WHAAAs" while standing in goofy poses waving their hands. And perhaps asking you to "show them some moves" that they won't understand or will believe they already have the counter for. That, and the desire to keep it from being public knowledge otherwise provides and unseen advantage in an encounter.

Most of the people I work with know that I'm the Martial Arts guy. I used to teach defensive tactics in my department, but haven't in some time. Some of the people I work with will freely offer this information to total strangers at times, too, which is quite annoying. Some people will offer genuine discussion at times, but not often, and after a while, they don't know what I'm really saying.

As mentioned earlier, that is what makes this community so great. It provides that outlet that not many of us have in daily life.
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