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tsdstud
Orange Belt
Orange Belt

Joined: 21 Apr 2002
Posts: 147
Location: Davison, MI

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a tip for the guys, don't date too many of the girls from your karate school. Pretty soon you have a whole school full of ex's. Not always a good situation haha. Speaking from experience

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"Every second that you are not training, someone somewhere is training to kick your butt"- Kyo Sa Lyle (my instructor)
"Where we going in 5 months?!?!?!" "Cali!!"
-Spring Break '04

"Life begins at 130 mph".
"When it doubt, gas it!"
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Bitseach
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 01 Apr 2002
Posts: 354
Location: London UK

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Agree - it is a TERRIBLE plan and ruins the club. I can't remember where the thread was now but in my club the Sensei and one of the students dated (then he had an affair with another student) and the club just fell apart.
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tessone
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 395
Location: Galesburg, IL

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think relationships between people on roughly the same level can be positive--look at Masters (8th dan) Barry and Choon Ok Harmon of Kuk Sool Won. Very cool people who train together, teach together, demonstrate together, and their oldest daughter is now a black belt as well.

On the other hand, I think teacher-student relationships in any context are problematic and jeopardize both the student's learning, and that of people around them.

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Chris Tessone
Brown Belt, Kuk Sool Won
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monkeygirl
KF VIP

Joined: 22 Feb 2002
Posts: 3677
Location: Oregon
Styles: Tae Kwon Do

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I speak from experience, dating in-studio is a BAD IDEA!!! Especially if you teach. While I never actually got around to dating this person, it was more of a mutual agreement that we had feelings. When those feelings ended, things got a little difficult. Fortunately, we were good enough friends and big enough people to move on and remain professional and good friends. I have learned from my mistake: never again will I date a student, or ANYONE from the studio! That includes families of students...if you hurt a friend's brother, you'll lose another friendship.

To tessone: that's great that it worked out for them, but we were pretty much on the same level. I guess it's just young love
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Be like water!!

[ This Message was edited by: monkeygirl on 2002-05-09 09:28 ]
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Phantasmatic
Purple Belt
Purple Belt

Joined: 21 Dec 2001
Posts: 586
Location: Dunlap, Illinois
Styles: Goju-Ryu, Shorei-Ryu, Shuri-Ryu, Kobudo, Judo, Shin-Kage Ryu

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I too agree, My friend dated in school and they form sparred each other and they were way too soft and my sensei got really mad and they both got 200 shoulder-slaps

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tsdstud
Orange Belt
Orange Belt

Joined: 21 Apr 2002
Posts: 147
Location: Davison, MI

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2002 6:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah doesn't help that I make friends with their moms and talk to them all the time either. And accidentally bring up new girls, get evil stares that way. Or when other friends bring up their new b/fs while you're still in love. Not cool. It really sucks when they "want to be friends again" but the only time they'll talk to you is in class when they need help with something. Going through all that right now if you couldn't tell haha. By the way, what exactly is a "shoulder slap"?

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cho dan TSD
"Every second that you are not training, someone somewhere is training to kick your butt"- Kyo Sa Lyle (my instructor)
"Where we going in 5 months?!?!?!" "Cali!!"
-Spring Break '04

"Life begins at 130 mph".
"When it doubt, gas it!"
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TKD_McGee
Purple Belt
Purple Belt

Joined: 02 Oct 2001
Posts: 594
Location: Washington

PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2002 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Japanese guy from Bonzai movie friday on USA would probabily say:

STUPID KID NO DATE IN DOJO! NOW DRINK GOAT WE WE.

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Withers M.A.A.
Brown Belt
Brown Belt

Joined: 28 Apr 2002
Posts: 662


PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2002 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you break up then it makes th ings difficult if you have to still train with her. Been there done that.... Like they say don't crap where you eat.... hehe

Pete

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2nd Degree black belt in Kenpo Karate and Tae Kwon Do. 1997 NASKA competitor-2nd place Nationally in Blackbelt American Forms. Firearms activist!
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Crouching Tiger Hidden Dr
White Belt
White Belt

Joined: 09 May 2002
Posts: 15


PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 9:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Boy
Martial arts is about discipline and focus.
So boys and girls, don't be gettin' ideas about gettin' jiggy.
leave that to me!
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Crouching Tiger Hidden Dr
White Belt
White Belt

Joined: 09 May 2002
Posts: 15


PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2002 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NO, I'm just kidding.
It's impossible to prevent emotions and feelings for a girl or boy to arise, especially if they start asking you for help and whether you want to do some ''extra training''.
My advice is, to be on a level with them, yet don't take things personally.
And always be clear about your goals and aims in practising that Martial Art.
If you really fancy that girl/boy, and you were really meant to be together, trust me it'll happen without your interference.


'Good things come to those who wait.'
'Patience has its virtues.'
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