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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
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Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:10 pm    Post subject: Fighting is what you do when you've screwed up self-defense Reply with quote

I am currently reading The Little Black Book of Violence, by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder, and the title of this thread comes from a quote out of the book. This quote is found on pg 249:

Quote:
Never forget that self-defense is really about not being there, using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight. Fighting is what you do when you've totally screwed up your self-defense.


I'd like to hear various thoughts on this. I think the statement hits pretty close to home. Fighting really isn't anything I want to be a part of on the street. Too many variable, and too many things can go wrong, especially for something triggering pride or ego. It absolutely should be a last resort.

Thoughts and opinions?
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Groinstrike
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Joined: 26 Oct 2010
Posts: 923
Location: Richland County
Styles: Bujin Bugei Jutsu, Krav Maga, Jeet Kune Do, BJJ M

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have read this book and was very impressed by it. I believe that it should be required reading for any martial arts student. I also believe that it should be required reading for every freshman boys P.E. class. Fighting over anything other than your life, your safety, your families safety, or your general wellbeing or wellbeing of others is assinine(sp?) in my opinion. Being a high school teacher, i see "fights" all the time, these are usually glorified pushing matches.


There is a stigma held by many young people that fighting is cool and gives you "cred" or makes you "hard"(never understood that one, somewhat disturbing). The fact of the matter is that fighting is dangerous, and people are severly injured and die.

A real fight is a chaotic, dangerous, brutal enviroment and you don't want to be in the middle of one. That is makes awarness so important. If you are in a bar and can't notice who the trouble makers are, you may find yourself in the middle of a very bad situation. Even if you can't avoid a fight, your awareness of the situation can allow you to get into positive body position or near an exit.

(Sorry for the rant)
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UselessDave
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Joined: 09 Jun 2011
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Location: Germany
Styles: Kyokushin karate

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.
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Groinstrike
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Joined: 26 Oct 2010
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Location: Richland County
Styles: Bujin Bugei Jutsu, Krav Maga, Jeet Kune Do, BJJ M

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

UselessDave wrote:
It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.


And this is a virtue how????
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bushido_man96
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Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30167
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Groinstrike wrote:
UselessDave wrote:
It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.


And this is a virtue how????
I'm not sure it is a virtue. I'm sure fighting does make one tougher, and I've heard of people fighting and gaining reputations for it. As an LEO, I have seen the guys who get arrested for such "reputations." But, this kind of thing has a habit of catching up with one in a very bad way. Why risk that chance? Especially over pride or ego. All it takes is one small, insignificant miscalculation for a fight to very wrong, very quickly. Like stepping off a curb into traffic...
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Crimson_Lotus
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Joined: 20 Jul 2011
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Location: Spokane, Wa.
Styles: Karate and MMA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know, I really like that. I think I will be picking up the book.

I started karate for the main purpose of self defense.

Celeste
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JusticeZero
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also recommend you look at Miller, Rory "Meditations on Violence", though for slightly different reasons. I'm sure there are some others, but that's one of the ones I consider particularly important.
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UselessDave
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Joined: 09 Jun 2011
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Location: Germany
Styles: Kyokushin karate

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Groinstrike"][quote="UselessDave"]It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.[/quote]

And this is a virtue how????[/quote]Who said it's a virtue. I think there's clearly something that catches people's attention. Some find it somehow respectable.
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andym
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Joined: 05 Jul 2011
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Styles: Goju Ryu

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An excellent sentiment and totally agree with it. It looks like another book I'll have to add to my 'too buy' list. (and annoy the wife with).
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LittleW
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Joined: 13 Jul 2011
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Styles: Shotokan

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I should ever come into such a situation, I can manage to get out of it without having to fight (as I wouldn't trust my MA or strength as far) or having somebody follow me (for, running is neither an option for me, I can't run fast or long).

And as to fighting just to look good? For whom?
If you have to fight to impress your friends, you should choose your friends more carefully.
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