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jaypo
Purple Belt
Purple Belt

Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Posts: 520

Styles: Shotokan, Shorin Ryu

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:58 am    Post subject: Intense situation with a student Reply with quote

So my C.I. approached me yesterday and informed me about a serious situation with a student. We have a student that is 12 years old and very big for his age. He has been abused physically and mentally since he was young. His grandmother takes care of him because his mother is a meth head. The mother steals from the grandmother, is abused by her boyfriend, and abuses her children. She's a very big woman, probably about 350lbs. So she comes home yesterday without notice (she has warrants out for her, so she moves around constantly), and when our student asked her why she didn't love her kids, the woman begins beating the student. He took a few hits to his face, but then he used a face block and reverse punch and hit her. She then picked up a TV tray and threw it at him and also hit him with a boat paddle. After meeting with his social worker, the social worker suggested that he be removed from martial arts because he hit his mother!

My initial response was to tell the social worker to jump in any time to stop the abuse himself rather than removing my student from the only family he has. But I wonder what everyone thinks about this. Was he wrong for hitting her, or was he justified from protecting himself from a violent person abusing him while dangerously high on Meth??
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The Pred
Blue Belt
Blue Belt

Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 325

Styles: Goju Ryu

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:42 am    Post subject: Re: Intense situation with a student Reply with quote

jaypo wrote:
So my C.I. approached me yesterday and informed me about a serious situation with a student. We have a student that is 12 years old and very big for his age. He has been abused physically and mentally since he was young. His grandmother takes care of him because his mother is a meth head. The mother steals from the grandmother, is abused by her boyfriend, and abuses her children. She's a very big woman, probably about 350lbs. So she comes home yesterday without notice (she has warrants out for her, so she moves around constantly), and when our student asked her why she didn't love her kids, the woman begins beating the student. He took a few hits to his face, but then he used a face block and reverse punch and hit her. She then picked up a TV tray and threw it at him and also hit him with a boat paddle. After meeting with his social worker, the social worker suggested that he be removed from martial arts because he hit his mother!

My initial response was to tell the social worker to jump in any time to stop the abuse himself rather than removing my student from the only family he has. But I wonder what everyone thinks about this. Was he wrong for hitting her, or was he justified from protecting himself from a violent person abusing him while dangerously high on Meth??


Just because one gives births or contributes in making a child. Does not make one a parent. That said he was totally justified.
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sensei8
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 14145
Location: Houston, TX
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just because one's a human being, it doesn't mean that they know how to act like a human being. The child was defending himself....good for the child. As far as the rest, I'd inform the appropriate authorities, and that's all I can really do.



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DWx
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 6086
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like the social worker is ill informed about martial arts. I guess they don't have any actual powers to stop him from training? If you think it's worth it, perhaps a good opportunity to educate them on the subject and invite them to join our watch a lesson and see the positive sides. Or send her one of the thousands of articles discussing the benefits of training in children.
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JR 137
KF Sempai
KF Sempai

Joined: 10 May 2015
Posts: 2203
Location: In the dojo
Styles: Seido Juku

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2016 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The truth is these things are far more complicated than what we know. None of us (nor the social worker) were there to be able to say if the child was or wasn't justified in what he did.

The way it's put forward here, he seems justified in what he did and the social worker seems like a moron.

Common sense (to us as MAists) would say taking away MA is the last thing that should be done, for the reasons given and then some. But I too frequently ask why it's called common sense when it's not very common?

I'd tell the social worker where to go and what to do. But I'd also ask myself what the social worker knows about the situation that I don't know. The best thing you can do is state your case as to why the student needs MA in his life. There are plenty of answers.
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