It's wrong for men to hit women

DWx · Black Belt

"It's wrong for men to hit women"

True or False? How do we all feel about the above statement?

How do you accommodate or deal with students who come into your dojo with this opinion?
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"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius

singularity6 · Pre-Black Belt

It's wrong for one person to strike another out of anger, in general.

Sparring in class - men and women hit each other all the time in our school!

Self-defense - The use of an appropriate amount of force to stop someone who's trying to harm you is cool, in my book. That being said, it doesn't necessarily need to be a strike, as take-downs work pretty well!
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5th Geup Jidokwan Tae Kwon Do/Hap Ki Do

(Never officially tested in aikido, iaido or kendo)

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

This concept is in the same category as the cultural construct which states that “nice girls” or “ladies” must always be mild and never too assertive or aggressive in their ways with others.

In reality it is more complicated than that. Too many people misunderstand these and develop cultural and social obstacles which inhibit natural reactions. The first thing one must comprehend and accept is that there are certain circumstances where social and cultural rules must be overridden or broken.

In addition, said rules might or might not be followed by everyone one encounters. It is foolish to assume these rules apply to everyone, everywhere at anytime. You may be a civilized gentleman or a refined lady but you might be facing a raging savage who shares none of your ideals. There maybe no other solution than violence.

When training with the intent of defense, one of the most important things to learn is to never ever underestimate an attacker for any reason. A skilled woman can defeat a lesser skilled man and beginners of either sex can do something unexpected.

JR 137 · Black Belt

CDraper · Yellow Belt

It depends. I was always taught to never hit a woman. When i started taking martial arts I also found this can be unfair to women. I'd never try to hit and hurt one of my fellow students be them male or female but I will now hit a women in context of class (sparring, self defense practice stuff). They are there to learn like the rest of us and am happy to treat them appropriately. Matter of fact when doing self defense I encourage them to really apply what they learn, I'd rather have a few extra bruises in class and have a classmate better prepared to defend themselves if the need arises. My 0.02.

sensei8 · KF Sensei

Nidan Melbourne · KF Sempai

I had someone come in recently with this opinion, and I asked them “How does that phrase incorporate with equality?”. As I am an advocate for an even playing field.

As I dislike it how some women say that a man can’t hit a woman. But it is somehow ok for a woman to hit a man. As to me that is an unequal playing field.

I was raised to respect the person, not just women or men. And that it is wrong to hit another person in an emotional state.

But if say a woman hits me, i will defend myself accordingly regardless of the fact I had to hit a woman. But prior to that I always try and defuse.

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

The biggest difficulty with the initial statement is that there will be some people will interpret it as an absolute. This completely ignores the reality that there will be certain circumstances in which striking is not only acceptable, but the only viable choice.

MatsuShinshii · Black Belt

Well yes and no. I was always taught that it was wrong to hit a lady. To this day I have never raised my hand to a lady or for that matter a woman.

If a woman comes at me empty handed then I will walk away or control her until she calms down. I hate to say it but if a woman comes at me with a weapon she'll be coughing up teach for a week. The way I see it is if a woman wants to act like a punk then she needs to be ready to accept the consequences of being a punk just like any man.

In training however... everything goes out the window. I believe in contact. Contact is a great teacher. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the men get to wail on female students. What is good for one gender is good for another. In fact I see no gender in a Dojo.

If someone, no matter the gender, color, race, religion, creed, etc. wants special treatment they need to look elsewhere. I hold everyone to the same standards I hold myself. Once you enter the Dojo floor you are the same as anyone else.

To be honest, I think some instructors do women a disservice by going easy. Who needs to know how to defend themselves against a larger opponent more, a man or a woman? Who is more likely to be attacked?

If anything I'm tougher on women because they need to learn these skills and understand how to deal with what will happen and how to deal with it.

In the Dojo, leave your gender and every other hang up at the door. They're not welcome.
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The person who succeeds is not the one who holds back, fearing failure, nor the one who never fails-but the one who moves on in spite of failure.
Charles R. Swindoll

JR 137 · Black Belt

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