Karate Forums Posters Anonymous (?)

[still kicking]

A lot of the time I think about posting things on here, but do not do it. I think it is partly that some things are too hard to put in words, and maybe I am afraid of being misunderstood. Mainly, though, I recently changed schools, which has been a huge big deal for me, and I would not want to say anything weird or potentially offensive to either my old dojo or my new dojo. Most likely no one from either place would care enough to track me down and try to identify me, and it's not like I'm interested in causing trouble for the old place. I wish them well, but do have some bad feelings about some things that happened. Anyway... I will soon come out of the closet, as it were, and post about my process with all of this, since I know that feeling conflicted about switching dojos is a common thing. For now, though, I would just like to ask... do other people ever hesitate to post due to fear of being identified? I would bet there are a lot of lurkers on here, and wondered if that might be part of the reason. Oh well, I do enjoy reading everyone elses posts, but it's good to have more voices as well.

[Wastelander]

[yamesu]

noone should have to live in fear of anything, that being said - often if one does not have anything nice to say, it is better not to say anything at all.
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[pittbullJudoka]

Still Kicking I can agree with the being hesitant on posting since some thoughts are hard to constructinto written form. But I never fear being tracked down and being ridiculed for what I say on here. My biggest reson for not posting is the difficulty of putting things in writting and possibly being misinderstood to the point of someone becoming upset. I actually tell my students about this site and encourage them to use it if they are looking for an online martial arts forum. I mean the other instructor at my school also posts on he on a regular basis. Everyone is entitled to speak their mind without fear of retaliation. If someone was to find your postings on here no big deal unless you're being slanderous. So I say post away my friend you may find you'll get good advice and someone else on here may have been through what you are dealing with and have the experince you seek in this situation.

[Patrick]

Thank you for starting this thread, still kicking. I appreciate you sharing this and find it interesting.

I think it's important, in life and not just in forums (), to have an internal filter that helps you process what is appropriate to say at a given moment. This doesn't mean lying or anything like that, but just in deciding what is appropriate to share, how to share it, who will be affected by what you will share and the responsibility that you have for your own words.

When we say something that that we shouldn't have, it impacts everyone who associates with us. Family, friends, employers, etc. But, we all have to decide at what level of sharing is appropriate for us and it will not be the same for every person. Some people will have instructors that are more strict than others, for example.

I think what you have is a reasonable fear and you should only proceed in a way that ensures your comfort and happiness.

The thing about KF is that, essentially, you choose what you want to share or reveal about yourself. You can list a style, but you don't have to. You can tell us your name, but you don't have to. You can tell us your location, but you don't have to. And on and on. Everyone should share at a level that makes them comfortable. That said, I believe that the people who share of themselves, to a reasonable level (as there is such a thing as over sharing ), will generally get more out of this community than if they keep everything to themselves. You just have to find the line.

And, of course, it is always important to remember that not everything you read on KF is true. I believe the vast majority of people are honest, but there will always be a given percentage that is probably lying about some or all details. You have to take what you read with a grain of salt. Assume good faith, but use your own brain.

Aside, thank you Rusty for recommending KF to your students. That's awesome.

Thanks again, still kicking. Great topic.

Patrick
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[Montana]

I've never worried about beibng "tracked down"..why would anybody want to find me anyway? lol I live in the Spokane, WA area, as my profile states, and I'm origionally from (and miss terribly at times) Montana, hence my nic.

If somebody really wants to know my name, just ask abnd I'll PM it to you. You won't find much on the internet about me as I don't have a webpage and think facebook is a joke and total wste of time (GASP! )

Due to cronic back problems and arthritis in my knees I am no longer teaching the arts after 30+ years in it, but I still get a little practice in when time and my body allows.
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[still kicking]

Patrick, I really appreciated your thoughtful reply to my original post. Those are exactly the kinds of questions I have been grappling with, and trying to come up with something appropriate to say. I've been writing a lot in the past few days... most of it won't be shared but the process has helped me sort some things out,

At any rate, it is quite late so I will keep it short for now, and will start by saying that I am very happy that my new school does not require any travel for belt testing. One of the key issues that finally made me to decide to leave my previous dojo was the incessant travel requirements. Our school is in a state on the west coast of the US, and the home dojo (Hombu) is far away and over a large body of water, necessitating plane travel. In addition, in the lead up to black belt testing (shodan-ho), applicants are expected ti fly there for a tournament that is about 6 mos before the testm and stay for a week of training as well. Some people stay longer. Then 6 months later at testing it's another plan trip and a week of accommodations, not to mention testing fees which are considerable. All if this is repeated again in the following year if the candidate wants to move on to shodan. So -- basically 4 round trip airfares plus 4 weeks or more of accomodation costs, plus testing fees for both the open hand and kobudo tests, also of these expenses with a period of 2 years. For me, though, aside from the money, traveling with dojo mates with various kinds of dynamics going on and sharing accommodation, plus training our butts off, almost literally, every night -- well, I guess I kind of snapped, folks, and decided I didn't want to do it! I am relieved and happy that if I live so long I will be able to continue through the black belt ranks without any undue hardship. I did hear that after 6th dan they have to start going to Japan, but if that day ever comes, I'll manage.

More later, I am falling asleep. Thanks for listening to my ramblings, but there really is a whole story here.

[Patrick]

My pleasure, still kicking. Thanks again for bringing this up.

Patrick
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[madtanker]

[quote="still kicking"]A lot of the time I think about posting things on here, but do not do it. I think it is partly that some things are too hard to put in words, and maybe I am afraid of being misunderstood. Mainly, though, I recently changed schools, which has been a huge big deal for me, and I would not want to say anything weird or potentially offensive to either my old dojo or my new dojo. Most likely no one from either place would care enough to track me down and try to identify me, and it's not like I'm interested in causing trouble for the old place. I wish them well, but do have some bad feelings about some things that happened. Anyway... I will soon come out of the closet, as it were, and post about my process with all of this, since I know that feeling conflicted about switching dojos is a common thing. For now, though, I would just like to ask... do other people ever hesitate to post due to fear of being identified? I would bet there are a lot of lurkers on here, and wondered if that might be part of the reason. Oh well, I do enjoy reading everyone elses posts, but it's good to have more voices as well.[/quote]


Personally, here as well as elsewhere, I do not fear reprisal when posting. If I have something of substance to say, or of value to add, I will do so. If not, then I avoid it, but only if I cannot be of help. If you are in fear, then there are two reasons
1) it is your survival instinct (or basically, you know that any comment may be misconstrued) and in that case you should listen.
2) it is a valid fear of an issue, knowing that the only thing that you can do is hurt... yourself or someone else. In that case it is nobler to bow out, and see how things develop. As in MA, you are better off settign up an opponent than leading head-first.
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