Okay or not Okay?

Kate · Yellow Belt

*edit*
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Respect, honesty, dignity - they're free how about we give them to each other?

kenpo4life · Blue Belt

I think that it is okay as long as you tell the parents first. You can use them as rewards or something for the kids.
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If my survival means your total destruction, then so be it.

Mr. Hall · Yellow Belt

With regard to children it is best that you do not get personal. For instance if they want to exchange e-mail, reply to them in class. If you cannot speak to them about their email, I.M., and etc in public, you’ve overstepped the “personal line”. I see nothing wrong with group activity. However, group activity on spur-of-the moment notice is a problem. You have to give everyone plenty of notice.

It sounds like you are wonderful with children and they respond to you well. You won’t hurt the children with a professional relationship. Remember the children have parents to make impressions from.
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"And it is this lack of fear that makes for the dance" - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
(www.loudounmartialarts.com)

SaiFightsMS · KF VIP

Our dojo would sponsor special events like trips to a martial arts movie, picnics and holiday parties.

monkeygirl · KF VIP

My students often e-mailed me if they couldn't make it to class, and I spoke with them on IM on a few occasions. However, it's a little different since I'm 16 and there isn't a huge age difference.

Of course you can care about their personal lives...interact with them before/after class and ask them how school is going, etc. You may even become like a "big sister" to some of them. My younger students always felt like little brothers and sisters to me

Going out for pizza with your students is really only OK if the dojo is sponsoring the event, and the whole school is invited (or maybe just all of the kids class students), as opposed to just one class being invited.

So yes: get inolved and care about them, but I would say no to spending extra time, unless the kids or their parents invite YOU. For example, I've babysat for a few dojo families on several occasions.
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1st dan & Asst. Instructor TKD 2000-2003

No matter the tune...if you can rock it, rock it hard.

stl_karateka · Brown Belt

Be careful giving out your e-mail and AIM for your own sanity!!! The pre-teen set and younger look up to you and probably think you are the coolest thing since sliced bread and crustless toast! You will be chatting EVERY time they see you online...you will get EVERY teen forward letter ( I still get some) Also --- once they start dealing with you outside of the dojo it can be hard for kids to turn it on and off again...ie getting serious in the dojo.

I'd stick to the group outings --- include parents on some, and just hang out with the group on others....but other than that I'd suggest keeping it separate.

Kita

Guy_Who_Fights · Yellow Belt

It is true that th younger students use instant messaging for most social contact, but it is still very impersonal compared to the phone. It is also much more impersonal than a hand written note given to them in person. E-mail is actually ideal for you when you think of it. However, if you have something to say to them, I would recommend just saying it after class unless they e-mail you first. Allowing them to make the step of communicating outside of the dojo is important. If you are comfortable giving your students access to you e-mail address, go for it. I feel this shows an admirable commitment to your students. If they e-mail you with a question, go ahead and e-mail them an answer. If they begin using the e-mail for just personal chit-chat, you may want to keep your answers short and to the point in an attempt to be polite and friendly while giving the impression that the e-mail contact is primarily for dojo-related issues.
When you mention going out with a group, I take it you mean kids. Obviously it is very important to let parents know about these events, and it can be a large responsibility keeping track of that many kids outside of the dojo. A dojo I used to go to used the alternative of having those "outings" in the dojo. It takes away from the "strictly training" feel of the dojo slightly, but if you are disciplined you can make your student's realize the clear distinction between class-time in the dojo and fun-time in the dojo. This dojo I mentioned will have a movie night once per month at which there is a martial arts film and chips, pop, etc. Students sit on the floor, the lighting is low like a theatre, and the event takes place at night (if the group is small enough, some fighting video games can also be a lot of fun with the exception of the overly-bloody Mortal Kombat type). They do things for the adults too such as inviting cooks to come in and hold sort of a charity cook-off. They will teach people how to cook with wine and other ingredients. Picnics in the summer. They have even gone so far as to hold a sleep-over night on the weekend. It is much easier for them to keep track of the kids and make sure they don't wander off, get left behind, get into a dangerous situation with a potential kidnapper, etc. when they are in the dojo. These nights always work out greate and the kids have a wonderful time along with the adults. Unfortunately this particular dojo was unable (or unwilling to put the effort forth) to make it understood that fun-time is not class-time, and had a lot of trouble with kids being loud and undisciplined in class. Things are getting better now, after a lot of hard work (harder than it needed to be). Just some ideas and experience for you. I would just make yourself available for that personal conection and let the kids decide how personal they want to get. If they want the movie night but no e-mailing, then they will come to movie night but won't e-mail you. Have fun!

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