Parting ways

DWx · Black Belt

Training in Asian martial arts there is a certain importance placed on the student-teacher relationship. Especially the importance of respecting and following your teacher. However sometimes, for one reason or another, the student may feel that the time has come to part ways with their instructor and seek out a new teacher or set up on their own.

Has anyone here ever made the decision to break away from their instructor? Or have you had students break away from you?
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"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius

Nidan Melbourne · KF Sempai

We have had many students leave us, but we don't bear any ill will. As we understand that there are often other mitigating factors to them shifting.

Often due to travel time, school or family.

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

It depends what “breaking away” really means. There are really only two, fundamental reasons why someone might leave. It is either a matter of ego or “politics”.

As for the traditional and cultural aspect, in many Asian martial arts as well as in general culture one’s teacher is always one’s teacher. “Sensei” or “sifu” means much, much more than just”teacher”.

hammer · Green Belt

Happened to me almost 4 years ago...there was a break between the instructor and a number of other senior students who I still maintained contact with. Realized that it happens, but my instructor more or less said that I wouldn't be welcome if I maintained contact with the former students. At that point I decided to become another one of his former students.

Found a different school in another style (which required me to more or less start from the beginning) and I haven't looked back.

sensei8 · KF Sensei

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

Besides conflicts of interest, parting ways can happen without any intention to do it. It can be the result of uncontrollable circumstances affecting the student or the instructor’s life. Unexpected change which make it impossible to continue regularly training. In cases like this a student has few choices.

Find another instructor, start learning another system or quit. The choice is not hard to make if practising martial art has been part of one’s life since childhood. Having only one instructor over decades of training is not the norm or at least not as common as it might have been before.

Considering only Okinawan karate, most of the reknowned masters of the 19th and early 20th centuries each had at least two if not three different teachers who taught them long enough to leave a strong influence in the way these experts taught their own students.

singularity6 · Pre-Black Belt

I may have mentioned this before: The second highest-ranking person in our school (was 4th dahn, recently promoted to 5th dahn) opened his own school. He and our master instructor still get along, but he just wanted to get out and spread his wings more. Ripples were definitely felt, though. Since the guy who left was the primary instructor at the location I practiced, he ended up being many students' preferred instructor. When he left, they went with him. Right now, we're lucky to get 6 people to show up for training (and we frequently have 2 or 3 instructors present at any given time.)
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5th Geup Jidokwan Tae Kwon Do/Hap Ki Do

(Never officially tested in aikido, iaido or kendo)

JR 137 · Black Belt

It depends on how “breaking away” is defined.

I had to leave my first dojo to go away to grad school. A career, wife, and 2 children didn’t leave enough time to return. 14 years later when I had enough time, my sensei moved his dojo an hour away, therefore I couldn’t go back.

My current CI won’t be alive and teaching forever. I honestly don’t know how many years he has left until he turns the day to day operation and teaching over to someone else. He retired from his day job 2 years ago. If the right person/people take over when he’s done, I’ll happily stay. If not, I don’t foresee staying very long. Only time will tell, and I’ll have to make the decision to stay or find a new dojo when that time comes. I won’t blindly follow his successor out of loyalty, but I’ll definitely give whoever it is a chance.

MatsuShinshii · Black Belt

Of sorts. I broke away from an organization but not my Shinshii. As for students... this is a natural process. They find the next best thing, their job responsibilities increase and don't have time for both, they get married or have children, etc, etc.

It's natural thing for peoples priorities to change. Unless you are a die hard the MA's does not outweigh job and family responsibilities. As far as breaking away and having hard feelings on either parties part, No.
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The person who succeeds is not the one who holds back, fearing failure, nor the one who never fails-but the one who moves on in spite of failure.
Charles R. Swindoll

bushido_man96 · KF Sensei

I've had to do so because of moving and such. We've had students that move on and have to find something new to do, so it tends to be just part of life at times.

Other times, though, I see students realize that what we do just isn't for them, and they pick up something else that suits them better or they enjoy more. Kudos to them. Its great that they consider what they are getting out of the deal, and not just what I as an instructor can provide.
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