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Shizentai
Green Belt
Joined: 01 Mar 2009
Posts: 417
Styles: karate
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 Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:44 pm Post subject: So... can you kick my butt? |
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"Can you kick my butt?"
It is the question that inevitably follows "Oh, you do maritial arts?" when someone (especially a non-MAist) finds out I train before they know me well.
To me, this seems like a dead end question, because any answer I give is socially unacceptable (yes, no, maybe, don't care, why would I kick your butt?), yet the question itself has become a socially acceptable knee-jerk response.
I have two questions for you all today:
1. Is this something I get because I'm female, or does everyone get it fairly regularly?
2. What is your favorite response to this?
_________________
"My work itself is my best signature."
-Kawai Kanjiro
Last edited by Shizentai on Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:37 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Wastelander
KF Sensei
Joined: 18 Oct 2010
Posts: 2734
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Styles: Shorin-Ryu, Shuri-Ryu, Judo, KishimotoDi
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| Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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As a 6'1 205lb guy, I get the same thing in the form of a statement, rather than a question, essentially. I get "oh, better not make you made, or you'll kick my butt." My response is generally to laugh it off and use a very sarcastic tone to say something along the lines of "you know it!"
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Kishimoto-Di | 2014-Present | Sensei: Ulf Karlsson
Shorin-Ryu/Shinkoten Karate | 2010-Present: Yondan, Renshi | Sensei: Richard Poage (RIP), Jeff Allred (RIP)
Shuri-Ryu | 2006-2010: Sankyu | Sensei: Joey Johnston, Joe Walker (RIP)
Judo | 2007-2010: Gokyu | Sensei: Joe Walker (RIP), Ramon Rivera (RIP), Adrian Rivera
Illinois Practical Karate | International Neoclassical Karate Kobudo Society |
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Lupin1
Black Belt
Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Posts: 1637
Location: Naples, FL
Styles: Isshinryu
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:20 am Post subject: |
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I'm a 5'6'' female and I usually get "Oh, I better not mess with you then, huh?". I usually just laugh it off.
The really awkward stuff is when people tell my 6'1' hundred-pound-heavier-than-me boyfriend that HE better watch out for me. He's actually pretty good at responding to that and just jokes that I'm a ninja, but it's awkward for me. I don't like people joking about me physically hurting my boyfriend. It makes me sad just thinking about it. |
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Spartacus Maximus
Black Belt
Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Posts: 1902
Styles: Shorin ryu
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:22 am Post subject: |
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This sort of thing is one of the reasons why one might choose to keep one's interest in martial arts and training to oneself. After dealing with such things a number of times it reaches a point where any answer, attempt to explain or any reply becomes a waste of time.
The majority of people who do not train do not understand and do not care to try. Mentioning martial arts or attempting to talk seriously in all but the utmost superficial way about it is akin to have a serious debate about life with a 3year old. Avoiding the subject and restricting who knows about one's interest in it seems like a good way to get along. It sure spares a great deal of headaches. |
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singularity6
Pre-Black Belt
Joined: 26 Jun 2017
Posts: 958
Location: Michigan
Styles: Jidokwan Taekwondo and Hapkido, Yoshokai Aikido, ZNIR Iaido, Kendo
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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My wife is from Syria. People frequently ask her "Where are you from" as soon as she speaks. They do not know her at all, yet have no shame in asking imediately.
I teach math for a living. People imediately respond with "Oh, I hate math," "That's my worst subject... I can barely add!" or "Hey, you're smart... you figure out the tip."
My overall experience says that most people suck, even if they don't mean to.
_________________
5th Geup Jidokwan Tae Kwon Do/Hap Ki Do
(Never officially tested in aikido, iaido or kendo) |
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MatsuShinshii
Black Belt
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Posts: 1423
Location: Kentucky
Styles: Machimura Suidi Rokudan, Ryukyu Kenpo, Kobudo, Judo
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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I'm 6'2" and 210 lbs. I have heard that question and others.
I don't tell others that I practice MA's unless the subject is brought up by the other person. Usually they end up talking about it or they tell me that they are a practitioner and then you are able to carry on a conversation about a mutual interest rather than being sarcastically challenged.
It's the same with the military. The first question everyone asks is "did you kill anyone".
In all scenarios it's best to smile and walk away from the situation. Nothing you say is the right answer so it's better to not answer at all and let them think as they will.
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The person who succeeds is not the one who holds back, fearing failure, nor the one who never fails-but the one who moves on in spite of failure.
Charles R. Swindoll |
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LLLEARNER
Brown Belt
Joined: 10 Feb 2016
Posts: 687
Location: Central Maine
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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| MatsuShinshii wrote: |
It's the same with the military. The first question everyone asks is "did you kill anyone".
In all scenarios it's best to smile and walk away from the situation. Nothing . |
To my regret I never served, and even I find that to be a highly offensive question.
_________________
"Those who know don't talk. Those who talk don't know." ~ Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching
"Walk a single path, becoming neither cocky with victory nor broken with defeat, without forgetting caution when all is quiet or becoming frightened when danger threatens." ~ Jigaro Kano |
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LLLEARNER
Brown Belt
Joined: 10 Feb 2016
Posts: 687
Location: Central Maine
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| Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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I get similar questions and comments. My answer depends on my mood but there is usually some level of sarcasm involved.
_________________
"Those who know don't talk. Those who talk don't know." ~ Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching
"Walk a single path, becoming neither cocky with victory nor broken with defeat, without forgetting caution when all is quiet or becoming frightened when danger threatens." ~ Jigaro Kano |
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Shizentai
Green Belt
Joined: 01 Mar 2009
Posts: 417
Styles: karate
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| Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:55 am Post subject: |
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Well it definitely sounds like I'm not alone. Like most of you, I don't usually tell people I just met that I do karate, but there are some circumstances where it's unavoidable. Case in point, being in physical therapy for a karate-related injury. When my sports PT asks what happened, I'm not going to tell him I was drinking tea. 
| Quote: |
| I'm a 5'6'' female and I usually get "Oh, I better not mess with you then, huh?". I usually just laugh it off. |
That's funny, because my most recent example at the PT actually went the same way.
PT: "Oh, she does karate? I better not mess with her."
Me: "Well, technically all you know about me so far is that I am good at hurting myself with karate"
Then I showed off my solar-plexus hernia surgery scars and the deceivingly large one on my chest from where I lost a mole to an un-clipped toenail during a tournament. They shared theirs as well.
As awkward as "can you kick my butt" is, scar stories seem like a peace pipe understood by all.
_________________
"My work itself is my best signature."
-Kawai Kanjiro |
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Zaine
Black Belt
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 2279
Location: Dallas, TX
Styles: Matsumura-Seito, Shobayashi-Ryu, Shudokan, Long Fist, American Street Karate, Southern Mantis, HEMA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:41 am Post subject: |
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My mother, who has stopped telling people because of this question, usually got the same response. I find this interesting because I usually get people telling me about their MA experience, or how they always wanted to get into MA.
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Martial arts training is 30% classroom training, 70% solo training.
https://www.instagram.com/nordic_karate/ |
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on the post.
