Taking Pride or Perhaps Ashamed?

Alan Armstrong · Black Belt

Are you taking pride of being a martial artist or do you hide that you are?

Personally I have been accused of talking too much about martial arts from family and friends, really I do try sometimes to talk about other things, really I do.

Then out of the blue (a family member that works in the health and beauty industry) takes a course on natural health and the talk is about the benefits of Yin and Yang.

Then a bell rings in their head, that I have been trying to explain its benefits about Yin/Yang to them for years.

But it doesn't end there, as being a martial artist out with friends in Asian restaurants (Japanese or Chinese) and a few compliments in their native language to the staff, there is an instant connection with them that no one else has.

So for me, martial arts can be related to all subjects, therefore for me I can proudly say that yes I'm a martial artist, are you?

bushido_man96 · KF Sensei

I'm not ashamed of what I do, but I don't bring it up in conversations very often, unless I'm with Martial Arts friends and we are just talking about it. If someone really wants to know what my interests and hobbies are, I might bring it up. Otherwise, I don't mention it much.
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MatsuShinshii · Black Belt

Ashamed? Absolutely not. I'm proud to be a martial artist and have been for 41 years.

Having said that I am not one to brag or broadcast it either.
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The person who succeeds is not the one who holds back, fearing failure, nor the one who never fails-but the one who moves on in spite of failure.
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Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

It is a little bit more complicated than being proud or ashamed. Somehow neither of these feelings or attitudes seem to apply. For several reasons, martial arts is a subject that is very very low among the possible topics of discussion on conversations.

Experience has shown, that most people are not interested in it or at least not beyond the most superficial level. Martial arts is not something to talk about unless the other party initiates it and it is certain that they also train. Even then, it is preferable to minimize and downplay my personal involvement, experience or training until much better acquainted.

IcemanSK · Black Belt

I talk about martial arts less over the years simply because most of the people that I talk with aren't interested in it on the level that I am. I also enjoy other things that aren't things most people enjoy. I don't talk about them openly, either.

When I was a kid, my dad was a salesman. He couldn't stand sports, but he watched the sports segment on the news every night without fail. He did this because he knew most men used sports as their default conversation.

I'm practical. I talk about myself only to the degree people want to know. Personally, I'm interested in what other people want to talk about.
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Being a good fighter is One thing. Being a good person is Everything. Kevin "Superkick" McClinton

JR 137 · Black Belt

If I had enough people who were interested in talking MA face to face, I probably wouldn’t post and check in here nearly as much

I’m sure when I talk about karate, people feel the same way as I do when they’re talking about a hobby I don’t know much about nor care much for, like scrapbooking (a common hobby among my female coworkers) or poker (like several of my friends).

How much I talk about it and how in-depth my conversation goes is dictated by the person I’m talking to. A former coworker I got along with pretty well asked my about it to the point where I showed her videos of my style. I got her seal of approval. Come to find out, her fiancé’s uncle runs a sport-karate McDojo. I guess she was making sure I wasn’t one of those or like Kramer beating up the kids in that episode of Seinfeld. That was pretty much the most meaningful MA conversation I’ve ever had with a non-MAist, which isn’t saying much at all.

My idiot brother in law took about 3 weeks of karate and thinks he knows everything about every karate style out there. I’ve had a few interesting conversations with him about it. I don’t know, I just like to get him going sometimes. I’m a bit of an instigator. I like it when he doesn’t know what I’m messing with him, which doesn’t take much effort to be honest.

Alan Armstrong · Black Belt

I have no doubt that we are all proud to be what we are, yet the contrary combat connotations, can bring about any number of people to make it seem kinda like a blood sport or something orientated to promoting violence.

Yes there is a violent aspect to martial arts and also in child raising, where parents discipline there children physically, something I don't agree with.

My point being that, none martial artists can beat their children on the one hand and on the other hand consider martial arts to be a violent pastime.

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

Anyone who has trained seriously and for long enough in martial arts knows that violence is not the point or the goal. Just the fact that martial arts has the reputation and popular impression of being violent, agressive, macho et cetera and causing people who do it to become that way is enough to want to keep it to oneself.

Changing the subject, denying knowledge or experience in the matter or awkward silence has been the best way to avoid talking about martial arts. Even if the other party knows somehow, at least the message is clear. Never say anything at all if possible, and if talking about martial arts is unavoidable, say as little as possible.

sensei8 · KF Sensei

I'm proud in being a MAist; have always been!! I just don't boast and brag about it, even when among other MAist's. If asked what I do for a living, I'm honest...I'm a businessman. If they press, I'm a successful businessman.

And no, I'm not ashamed, not even the slightest, but I'm guarded over what I say. It has been my experience that once they find out that I'm a MAist, they become guarded themselves in how they act towards me. They either are intimidated by me or they have measured challenges and jokes. Either way, it's not enjoyable for me!!

I work out at a local gym with another member Gutner. He's 6'6", and Gutner is RIPPED; he's muscles were I didn't know muscles were even there. He's a physical specimen of greatly appreciative achievements. He's 33 years old, married, and they have a 3 year old girl.

I walked up to him and introduced myself, and we sat for a solid 30 minutes just getting to know each other. He invited me to train with him, and it's been a Godsend. His discipline is visually impressive, as well. A pure joy to work out with him. He once thanked me for our friendship because not one person at the gym ever approached him; they'd shy away by his size, which again, is Mr. Olympia status. He use to work out at Gold Gym, but that ego driven atmosphere wasn't productive at all.

He was relaxed around me, and I was around him. 3 weeks into our training together at the gym, he walked right up to me and said/asked..."I hear your a MAist, the gym owner told me that because he's several friends that are your students, or have been...so, are you??" I asked him..."What does that matter?? You and I are, if nothing else, human beings, and we put our pants on the same way...one leg at a time!! What we do, aren't the reasons that we've become friends and why we work out; we better one another." He then asked me..."What rank??" "I've been in the MA for 53 years, and that's all I'm going to say about that. My rank has nothing to do with us working out as friends." I replied. "You a black belt or what??" he pressed. "Maybe! Hopefully, you'll never find out the hard way!!" I responded.

Neither of us were intimidated by the other. That's why we found it easy for us to talk to one another because in our approach to one another, we were real to each other...no masks...no pretend...no trying to impress each other...honest from the start towards one another!!

You could tell by Gutner's physical prowess that he was a bodybuilder, but he couldn't tell by my outward appearance if I was a MAist or not, and that's a good thing across the board. I don't have to wear the air of a MAist because I am a MAist...very proud of it!!

What's to be ashamed of if all one ever did was to do their absolute best while on the floor?? Nothing to be ashamed of, but everything to be proud of!!

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**Proof is on the floor!!!

Lupin1 · Black Belt

I don't bring it up much, but I'm not ashamed of it and I don't hide it. In fact, it's mentioned on my staff bio on my work's webpage and my Facebook profile picture is of me in my gi.

I find I'm a lot more comfortable talking about it now that I'm a black belt and help teach classes. I was a little embarrassed when I was first restarting as an adult. It is unfortunately perceived as a kids' thing by a lot of people and so to be an adult yellow or blue belt taking classes can draw some ignorant comments. Saying you're a black belt and you teach kids classes, on the other hand, is perceived completely differently. Again, it's very unfortunate that this is the public perception and I hope it changes.

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