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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30188
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR
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 Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:15 am Post subject: |
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You say its nothing immoral. So, if its not that, is it something politically related to the main body of the style? Has he slighted some high rank? If that's the case, I don't know that I would let that affect my decision to stay.
I may be jumping to conclusions here, but since you are being rather vague, I really don't have any other option but to try to plug holes.
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www.haysgym.com
http://www.sunyis.com/
www.aikidoofnorthwestkansas.com |
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darksoul
Purple Belt
Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Posts: 548
Location: Montréal, QC, Canada
Styles: Shaolin Kempo
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| Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 7:33 am Post subject: |
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I am also with MasterPain and JusticeZero. If it is not immoral, illegal, or bringing danger to the student, I wouldn't leave.
If something happened like that with my Master (again, not immoral, illegal, or bringing danger to the students) I would probably stand behind him as support.
Again, this is not knowing what actually happened. Maybe you can explain without giving names or bringing up the style or instructor?
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Shodan - Shaolin Kempo
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yamesu
Black Belt
Joined: 13 Jul 2004
Posts: 1391
Location: Oceania <-> Asia
Styles: Kyokushin. MT. Arnis. Judo. JediMantre.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| MAMom78 wrote: |
I want to thank you for your responses. Evil Dave, you are right about knowing when its time to move on. My gut tells me its time, but I also feel ties to this school which would be difficult to break. I am sorry that I sound so vague. I think it is wiser to not publicize the full story until some more time has passed. I want to address some of the questions asked.
Was it harmful to a student?
No, not harmful to a student. There have been threats made against my instructor. I don't feel students are at physical risk for harm.
Was it martial arts related, business, personal ? If it doesn't directly overshadow the teacher student relationship or the future of the school in a business sense ?
This has become a publicized situation. Other martial arts schools have made it clear on their websites that they do not support his actions and are fully against it. It has been discussed with adult students, so that we are aware of what is going on. His actions are voluntary, not the consequence for any immoral actions, etc.
The best instructor in the city? It'd probably take a lot for me to move in that case. His character would really have to come into question for me to make the move.
Absolutely! That is what makes this decision so difficult. I have visited many of the schools in this city and seen first hand that our instructor's techniques are above average.
I have decided that I am going to travel to a nearby city and visit some schools. The travel will be more lengthy. But I will have the opportunity to seek out the answers I am looking for.
When privately discussed with friends, not one has stated they feel I should stay. They all feel that I should move on. I usually don't depend on my friends to make my decisions, but I did find it unsettling that no one pushed for me to stay. There have been students (mostly lower ranks) to leave, and numbers are down in relation to the size of the school. I do believe it has affected the school as a business. I don't see the school closing.
This will not be an easy decision. I will keep you posted in the coming months on my decision. |
I would follow my gut feeling if I were you. Intuition is a powerful tool, and humans have not survived this long by blindly following the advice of others.
As a side note - I currently train about two hrs away from home two-three times a week because I dont feel that the more local schools "fit" my needs, or are at the caliber I want to train.
Best of luck!
_________________
"We did not inherit this earth from our parents.
We are borrowing it from our children." |
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30188
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR
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ninjanurse
KF VIP
Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Posts: 6154
Location: Upstate NY
Styles: TKD;Shotokan;JuJitsu;Tai Ji
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| Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps a look at the tenets and values being taught in your dojo and how they are being represented by this teacher is a good place to start. You should hold no loyalty to someone who does not represent what you are seeking in your training. Your school may produce "above average" students but technique is only one piece of the puzzle. The very fact that you are "seeking" lends me to believe you already sense a disconnect between what you know is right.
Of course, if it is just a misunderstanding, a private discussion with your teacher may resolve the whole thing.
_________________
"A Black Belt is only the beginning."
Heidi-A student of the arts
Tae Kwon Do,Shotokan,Ju Jitsu,Modern Arnis
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MAMom78
White Belt
Joined: 05 Nov 2012
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| You have all given me alot to think about. I haven't made a concrete decision yet. Its not one to make lightly, at least for myself. I plan on speaking with my instructor in more detail about continuing with his school. If I feel that it can't be resolved, then I will have to move on. I really don't want to move on, but it may be the only choice I have. I have checked out another local school. I will likely check out a couple of other schools, but they would require more travel time. Being a mom, the more travel time required, it takes away from time my home duties. |
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Drew
Orange Belt
Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Posts: 189
Location: My other body
Styles: Boxing, Muay Thai, Sub Wrestling, Tai Chi, MMA, Medieval, Extreme Reaction Combat Scenarios (This is not a drill) Judo, formerly Mishima Style Karate
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Himokiri Karate
Member of the Month
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Posts: 408
Styles: Boxing, Korean Karate
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| Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Drew wrote: |
| I've been wondering what the controversy was for months now, I hope this person turns back up to tell us. I'm just so nosy! |
Same here!
Also, I am very very DISTURBED by the fact that not just op but people have that cult like devotion to there instructors as well as having intense fear of leaving there martial arts instuctor.
Heres is some fact:
1.Your instructor does NOT own you
2.This is not the old days when students lived with instructors and you paid him back with loyalty and devotion and little bit of house work
3.The only thing you owe to your insturctor is training fees...Thats It!
4.In chinese martial arts, kung fu practioners are encouraged to try other styles like Chin na, hung gar and many other styles and have many instructors so they can get different perspective.
Same with boxing, boxers sometimes have more then few coaches so they can get different perspective on boxing technique. Since some coaches specliaze in out-boxing some in in-fighting. Same with catch wrestling as well...
5.Instructors that forbid there students to train elsewhere obviously are insecure or know that there is better training out there and thus they dont want to lose your "business"
6.Your loyalty is to your self and the passion you have for martial arts maddam...Thats it! |
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xo-karate
Purple Belt
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Posts: 572
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| Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 11:00 am Post subject: |
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| Instructor does not own you and you don't owe anything but training fee to the instructor - yes - true, but training can become like family. Leaving your instructor means leaving your friends too. |
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Himokiri Karate
Member of the Month
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Posts: 408
Styles: Boxing, Korean Karate
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| Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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| xo-karate wrote: |
| Instructor does not own you and you don't owe anything but training fee to the instructor - yes - true, but training can become like family. Leaving your instructor means leaving your friends too. |
See this is the problem I have with this logic, the whole "family" logic.
When I was with my old boxing coaches, they would "Forbid" people from training at other boxing gyms and they would shame us if we got caught training at other gyms by yelling,screaming and belittling people.
Then I met my current boxing coach aka boxing master Tony Pep and former junior lightweight world champion. I made more improvement in 6 months under his tutelage then I did 4 years of boxing with other coaches.
I also found out that, he ENCOURAGES students to train at other places as well as other styles. He always tells us before picking a coach/gym that, every person should try other places for 3-6 months to see how gyms are truly run.
I learned from him that, student-teacher relationship should be about Professionalism NOT about Friendship. This is why I respect him so much, he keeps things professional at all times, that freddy roach is also like that as well.
Freddy roach said earlier in his coaching days, he befriended a boxer of his and there relationship went down hill due to friendship getting in the way of professionalism. |
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on the post.
