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MAMom78
White Belt
Joined: 05 Nov 2012
Posts: 8
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 Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:59 pm Post subject: To change or not to change dojos? |
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First off, hello everyone! I am new to the boards, and look forward to joining in on all the fun here! I am seeking advice as well. If you had been part of a small school for a couple of years and the instructor was involved in some controversy, would you continue to train under him? I should say that the instructor was not involved in anything illegal. I understand but do not fully agree on these particular actions that have caused the controversy. The reason I even question if I should change schools is because of all of the negative response surrounding this situation. The negativity is stressful, as many of my friends are aware of where I train, and this controversy is public knowledge. Most friends do not agree with the actions taken by my instructor.
Or do I stay? I have trained many hours, sacrificed time that could have been spent in other ways, to train with the best instructor in this city. I don't want to leave on bad terms, yet feel that if I explain why I am leaving, it will cause further tension. If I seek out another school, I am concerned about the possible confrontation of my current instructor, if he was to find out that I was training else where. I would have to also begin training in a different style
What would you do? Would it depend on what kyu that you are currently? |
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Evil Dave
Orange Belt
Joined: 28 Dec 2011
Posts: 173
Location: Victoria, BC
Styles: Shotokan
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| Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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Hi MaMom and welcome to the board.
As someone who has switched schools, I may have something to say on this topic. You will know when it's time to move on! It's your training and your life, not anybody else's.
The simple question is 'is it time for you to move on?' Not so simple to answer. Follow your instincts, your gut feeling. To start with try not to worry about what other people are saying, it's just talk. How do you feel about the situation, how was it handled, and how did your instructor involved and/or deal with the situation? Are you comfortable with the answers?
We would need more information on the situation, which you may not want to paint in public here, to give you real good advise. |
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JusticeZero
Black Belt
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2166
Location: AK
Styles: Capoeira Angola
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| Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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"Some controversy". So vague..
Was it harmful to a student? If it harmed a student, or demonstrated that students were in danger, then I might look at following a senior student elsewhere.
On the other hand, if it was something like 'they got caught sharing a bed with the dentist' then i'd think that people really are being petty. I'm there because that teacher has knowledge and skill mentorship that I value and want to learn. I'm not there to bask in the moral righteousness or to kneel at the foot of a saint. And I would explain that to anyone who asked, with an air of bafflement at why anyone even thought this was an issue.
_________________
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - Baleia |
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MasterPain
Black Belt
Joined: 26 Oct 2010
Posts: 1949
Location: Parts Unknown
Styles: Bujin Bugei Jutsu, Backyard Kali, Satsui no Hadou
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| JusticeZero wrote: |
"Some controversy". So vague..
Was it harmful to a student? If it harmed a student, or demonstrated that students were in danger, then I might look at following a senior student elsewhere.
On the other hand, if it was something like 'they got caught sharing a bed with the dentist' then i'd think that people really are being petty. I'm there because that teacher has knowledge and skill mentorship that I value and want to learn. I'm not there to bask in the moral righteousness or to kneel at the foot of a saint. And I would explain that to anyone who asked, with an air of bafflement at why anyone even thought this was an issue. |
I'm with you on this one. If it is as you say, nothing illegal, that covers most everything that I would consider leaving over. an instructor is only human.
However, if it is something very much against your values and you just can't get past it, then you need to make a choice. If you're just concerned with public opinion over an embarrassment, these things all eventually blow over. Someone will wear a dumb dress to the Oscars and everyone will be talking about that instead.
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My fists bleed death. -Akuma |
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andym
Green Belt
Joined: 05 Jul 2011
Posts: 487
Styles: Goju Ryu
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:48 am Post subject: |
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I agree with JusticeZero and MasterPain. A simple assessment, if it's not a legal matter. Was it martial arts related, business, personal ? If it doesn't directly overshadow the teacher student relationship or the future of the school in a business sense ? If not I say stay, things will blow over.
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If you believe in an ideal. You don't own it ; it owns you. |
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andym
Green Belt
Joined: 05 Jul 2011
Posts: 487
Styles: Goju Ryu
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:50 am Post subject: |
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One after thought, was it hypocritical to what the instructor teaches in class. Have they undermined their own credibility ?
Last edited by andym on Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:56 am; edited 1 time in total |
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DWx
Black Belt
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 6455
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:04 am Post subject: |
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It might not be possible, but could you give us some more details on this controversy? If it were me in your position, it would depend on whether this issue is going to affect me and my training. Is it going to impact on your instructor's ability/availability to teach?
| MAMom78 wrote: |
| I have trained many hours, sacrificed time that could have been spent in other ways, to train with the best instructor in this city. |
The best instructor in the city? It'd probably take a lot for me to move in that case. His character would really have to come into question for me to make the move.
Regardless of all this, are you happy training with him? Ultimately doesn't matter what your friends think.
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"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius |
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30188
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| MasterPain wrote: |
| JusticeZero wrote: |
"Some controversy". So vague..
Was it harmful to a student? If it harmed a student, or demonstrated that students were in danger, then I might look at following a senior student elsewhere.
On the other hand, if it was something like 'they got caught sharing a bed with the dentist' then i'd think that people really are being petty. I'm there because that teacher has knowledge and skill mentorship that I value and want to learn. I'm not there to bask in the moral righteousness or to kneel at the foot of a saint. And I would explain that to anyone who asked, with an air of bafflement at why anyone even thought this was an issue. |
I'm with you on this one. If it is as you say, nothing illegal, that covers most everything that I would consider leaving over. an instructor is only human.
However, if it is something very much against your values and you just can't get past it, then you need to make a choice. If you're just concerned with public opinion over an embarrassment, these things all eventually blow over. Someone will wear a dumb dress to the Oscars and everyone will be talking about that instead. |
I agree with both posters here as well. Without any further information, its really hard for us to gauge what you have going on. Take all these things into consideration, and then make your choice. Hopefully things work out well for you in the end.
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www.haysgym.com
http://www.sunyis.com/
www.aikidoofnorthwestkansas.com |
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MAMom78
White Belt
Joined: 05 Nov 2012
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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I want to thank you for your responses. Evil Dave, you are right about knowing when its time to move on. My gut tells me its time, but I also feel ties to this school which would be difficult to break. I am sorry that I sound so vague. I think it is wiser to not publicize the full story until some more time has passed. I want to address some of the questions asked.
Was it harmful to a student?
No, not harmful to a student. There have been threats made against my instructor. I don't feel students are at physical risk for harm.
Was it martial arts related, business, personal ? If it doesn't directly overshadow the teacher student relationship or the future of the school in a business sense ?
This has become a publicized situation. Other martial arts schools have made it clear on their websites that they do not support his actions and are fully against it. It has been discussed with adult students, so that we are aware of what is going on. His actions are voluntary, not the consequence for any immoral actions, etc.
The best instructor in the city? It'd probably take a lot for me to move in that case. His character would really have to come into question for me to make the move.
Absolutely! That is what makes this decision so difficult. I have visited many of the schools in this city and seen first hand that our instructor's techniques are above average.
I have decided that I am going to travel to a nearby city and visit some schools. The travel will be more lengthy. But I will have the opportunity to seek out the answers I am looking for.
When privately discussed with friends, not one has stated they feel I should stay. They all feel that I should move on. I usually don't depend on my friends to make my decisions, but I did find it unsettling that no one pushed for me to stay. There have been students (mostly lower ranks) to leave, and numbers are down in relation to the size of the school. I do believe it has affected the school as a business. I don't see the school closing.
This will not be an easy decision. I will keep you posted in the coming months on my decision. |
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JusticeZero
Black Belt
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2166
Location: AK
Styles: Capoeira Angola
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| Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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Are your friends martial artists? Do mountain climbers consult with their dentist, who doesn't even climb stairs, about their equipment and choice of slopes?
Here's the next question - what does your teacher think you should do? Maybe he recommends a teacher, or some such thing. Really, it's not so much "Do I need to leave forever", it is "Do I need to leave for a month and a half until everyone forgets anything ever happened". I assure you, two months from now there will be no real controversy, and it sounds as though other students are just going to ride it out too. Low grades leave all the time for silly reasons, so don't worry about them.
_________________
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - Baleia |
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on the post.
