what the hell happend to me?

justme27 · White Belt

Hi there,

Have been in a situation yesterday that luckily ended all well... but it has had it's impact on me.

Yesterday I was just walking to my car, minding my own business when three guys came walking the other way. one of the guys just walks past me, but the last two bump into me (not accidental) and sudenly before I knew what happend I was surrounded by three guys telling me to apologize for bumping into them... generally, they where just looking for trouble, and there it was, I just froze... It was like my body just shut down.

If it wasn´t for two people that saw it happen and helped me out I would have had the crap beaten out of me and I doubt I could have responded to anything...

Now by no means would I ever feel like I could get out of a fight with three guys without bruises, and I´m not afraid of pain. I have been in fights before while I was younger and I know I can land a mean punch. I practised Shotokan for about 6 years, until I was 18 (yeah I know, should't have quit). While I was younger I have been in a few of those fights, where I had to face multiple bullies, now I don't want to say I'v won all of those, but shure as hell I didn't went down without causing as much damage to them as I could... But yesterday, I was completely numb, I panicked..

Has this happened to me because I havent trained for to long? What the hell came over me, and how do I loose it???

I could have fought them, lost the fight and be okay about it, the thing I can't handle is that I froze... In a way I'm more angry at myself for freezing like a little wuss then I am at them for picking a fight.

How can I get back my fighting spirit?

The BB of C · Black Belt

I believe it was a matter of not being used to that. Obviously if you're not in a situation like that often, you're not used to it. I'd suggest getting back into martial arts and not necessarily paying attention to what style of the class but instead looking for a self defense oriented class.
It also could be a matter of mental preparation. People tell me that they simply think to themselves a couple times per day or while they're training. "I'm doing this to protect myself. God help the punk that wants to look for trouble with me."

joesteph · Black Belt

bushido_man96 · KF Sensei

What you could try to do is get with a couple of friends, and replay this scenario, with live action, naughty words, etc, so that you can get into the mindset for when these things happen.

As for what is different between then and now, it could be hard to tell. Perhaps you have mellowed some. Perhaps you have more at stake now, or realize that there are possibilites of weapons coming out, etc. It could be any number of things. But, it doesn't mean that it has to remain that way.
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justme27 · White Belt

Thanks for the advise all!

I have made an appointment for a trial lesson next week with a local dojo that trains a combination of styles of full contact Karate (Kenpokai and Kyokushinkai) and Kakuto Jujutsu Daido Ryu (Daido Juku).

Something tells me I'm gonna feel a bit bruised by the end of next week

Throwdown0850 · Brown Belt

harmoniouswarrior · Yellow Belt

You've gotten some good advice here, and I won't repeat it -- will just say, yeah, nothing beats training.

What I think happens to us in these situations is the adrenaline is dumped into our system, and we have to channel it: do I fight, or do I use 'flight'? Since our brain is not working at optimum under stress, we have a hard time deciding, and that causes the paralysis. Later, when the old gray matter is back, we kick ourselves and ask, Why didn't I...?

BTW, after decades of fighting such ego matches as you've described, I now try in such situations to just apologize. Not abjectly - it's good to keep the steel in ones voice - but still a smile and brief apology (sorry if I did something to offend you), often takes the wind out of their sails. And it costs me nothing.
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EmrldWepn · Yellow Belt

Surprisingly to me, I've found myself in similar situation. Someone thought I cut them off, followed me and when I finally stopped and got out they came almost right up to me spazzing out. I didn't feel like I was in any real danger, but I did feel my body tense up in a nervous fashion... not in a ready to fight fashion. I've been studying for many years now and was quite amazed (not in a good way) at myself.
I definitley think the above posts have alot of good advice too. Its tough to work on, but can be just as important as the regular training.

tallgeese · Black Belt

The type of training, or one's training methods, is one of the most critical components in preparing for the body's reaction to combat stress and it's lead up to a fight. Just stepping on a mat a few days a week won't really get you ready unless you're mentally behind the training.

That means, if you're using ma's to prepare for a fight, you can't just look at ma's as a discipline, way of life, or philosophical method. It has to be fight training, you have to accept it and treat it as such. Not just in an abstract kind of way, but in a real in-your-face reality. Train with as many stress components as you can, check out as many video segments as you can that are from actual encounters. Get used to the level of violence that they entail.

Pre-combat acceptance of the levels of force needed and mental rehearsal that is realistic in nature will all help one deal with the effects of the body's natural reactions. There's alot that goes into creating a "pre-combat veteran" as Grossman calls it. I'd highly recommend his book, On Combat for lots of advice on the matter.

Training will help this kind of reaction for sure, proper mindset and training components will help even more.

Sensei_Suzy · White Belt

The main thing that martial arts teaches you (well, me anyway) in a self defense situation is to not be a scared victim. Rather than saying to yourself (during the confrontation) "Oh my goodness why is this happening to me?" or "Holy crap I'm going to get killed." martial arts teaches you to say "How dare someone try to hurt me."

I helped out with a self defense class a couple months ago that my sensei taught. It was a very small turnout and only 3 high school seniors showed up, all girls, so very similar to myself. At one point my sensei asked them "What would be the first thing to go through your mind if a guy came up behind you and grabbed you?" He went down the line, all three said some variation of scared...I said angry (I used a different word but the censor yelled at me). That's the difference. Martial arts teaches you to not be a victim. Having been in a situation where I had to defend myself from a single guy I know that the martial arts mentality saved me even though it was not a life or death situation.

Good luck with your new classes!!
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