When Tempers Flare

Alan Armstrong · Black Belt

When tempers flare between students and teachers, how do you deal with the situation and has it ever happened to you?

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

The solution is simple: solve the problem through reason and discussion. Address it immediately and do not allow it to interfere with training. Most such situations can be avoided by establishing rules and protocol for everyone to follow.

If discussion is impossible, then the parties involved must separate and return later after taking time to calm down and think. If the problem and disagreement cannot be resolved with a cool head and rational thought and discussion it is time for each person involved to leave for good.

Of course this is assuming that one is dealing with a mentally and morally sane mature adult. Unruly children and youths should simply and promptly be referred to their parents that they maybe reminded how to properly behave. Lastly, the final recourse is for one side to quit and go elsewhere(student) or the instructor can refuse to teach a student who is unable to express and discuss a difference of opinion in a socially acceptable manner at an appropriate time.

singularity6 · Pre-Black Belt

That's what sparring's for!

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Nidan Melbourne · KF Sempai

When Tempers flare; I get them to separate and cool off.

I speak to both individually and without the other in earshot or sight. As to get their side of the story and how they perceived things happened.

When i got the information, i'll sit them down informally as to make sure tensions dont get worse. And we'll talk things out and get things cleared.

I admit freely that I've had issues with students in the past, but we sat down and talked it out. No parents, no students, no instructors just us two.

A few I don't speak to anymore, but that is because they moved on and left the club and I didnt have them on Social Media or their contact details.

The others i am now good friends with and we laugh about things that happened.

sensei8 · KF Sensei

Between students and teachers?? I never!!

The teacher/CI, sets the tone, good or bad. In my 53 years in the MA, I've never had a student get mad at me in any shape, way, and/or form...nor have I ever gotten mad at my students!!

Again, the tone must be set by the CI!! No exceptions!! How?? It takes a human being to know how to act like a human being.

If the tone is bad, then my first guess is that that's how that CI/Instructor was taught...in and through anger.

Respect begets respect!!

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**Proof is on the floor!!!

bushido_man96 · KF Sensei

I've never really had this issue come up. Every now and then I see some students get a little heated with each other in sparring, and I just shut the match down and switch them up.
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Zaine · Black Belt

Never happened to me. If I were an instructor, I would likely sit down with the student and talk it out. These kind of things happen when there is a breakdown of communication. Re-establish that communication, and try to resolve the situation that way would be my course of action.

If it can't be resolved, then maybe it is time for the student to find another school.
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Martial arts training is 30% classroom training, 70% solo training.

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MatsuShinshii · Black Belt

To make sure I fully understand your question, you are talking about a disagreement between a student and a teacher?

If this is the case then here is my answer; A teacher does not loose their temper with their students. If they do they are not worthy of teaching. If there is something I do not like that a student is doing I tell them to stop. If they do not I tell them to leave. If a student looses their temper with their teacher it's up to the teacher how they deal with it. Personally I would show them the door until they can learn how to show the proper respect.

If a student is quick to temper to the point where they would actually get in a teachers face, this is IMHO not a student. This is an example of someone I do not need to teach fighting techniques to. They are gone and someone else's problem.

If this is a student on student argument, then this is up to the teacher to deal with in any way they see fit. I personally do not put up with this type of behavior in class.
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The person who succeeds is not the one who holds back, fearing failure, nor the one who never fails-but the one who moves on in spite of failure.
Charles R. Swindoll

Spartacus Maximus · Black Belt

The very nature of martial arts makes training potentially dangerous and it is precisely for that reason that self-discipline and self-control/restraint are important. An impulsive, undisciplined and short-tempered person should not be doing or teaching ANY activity involving physical contact with others.

Such a person is a too much of a danger and liability to themselves AND everyone else. If nothing is done immediately, such a person will injure somebody, themselves or destroy something sooner or later. Whatever happens, the cost will be high and the consequences potentially very painful.

In every school there is an appropriate and acceptable manner as well as a time for students to ask questions or exchange with instructors. Students must learn this and a normally socially educated person is expected to have at least a general idea of how to be civil, polite and respectful.

MatsuShinshii · Black Belt

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