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ashworth
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 495
Location: UK
Styles: freestyle, shotokan, IJR Karate, Iaido

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:28 am    Post subject: Your other half... Reply with quote

So I run my own little karate club, it takes up a lot of my time but I don't mind that because it is what I love doing, running 3 classes a week, planning the lessons outside of the dojo please all the other little admin jobs, in the past year it has picked up and I'm just about keeping on top of it, but I can see it growing and taking up more time in the future, which becomes an issue when I look at my life outside of karate, my relationship to be exact...

She has nothing to do with the club at the moment, now I don't want her to start training and getting into it like that but I really would like her to be a part of the club, attend events and just have a general presence in the club, so that even when I am busy doing stuff for the club we can do it together.

I haven't yet approached her about this, just thought I would start up this topic and see how many others have been in a similar situation... what do your other halves do?
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Spartacus Maximus
Black Belt
Black Belt

Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Posts: 1288

Styles: Shorin ryu

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

At the very least it would be reasonable to expect moral support from one's spouse. However unless said spouse clearly and explicitly expresses interest in becoming involved one way or another, it would be wrong to push it. Doing so might even cause unnecessary stress on the relationship. This applies just as well to martial arts schools as to any kind of business.
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sensei8
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 12576
Location: Owasso, OK
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My better half is a school teacher; her plates way too full to be completely involved in any of the dojo's I've owned.

She trained with me up until our son Nathan was born; she earned a yellow belt from me, and she's not looked back ever since then. I've never pushed her to train with me or to help me in the dojo; to push her, is to risk losing her because she's my wife, and not my property; she's a strong willed woman!! Just as she's never pushed me either; we are there for each other, and then some.

Do we have fights about everything?? Yeah, but we've never ever yelled at each other; we'd talk out our differences, and in the end, we're in each others arms.

On the very few occasions that she was at any of my dojo's, she'd help in the office doing a wide variety of things to help. She'd work the front desk from time to time; students came to know her from that.

Now that the kids are grown up, she's still that school teacher, and her plate is still full. I do not begrudge her from not being more active in my MA because I love her, and her happiness means more to me than anything.

She understands how important my MA journey means to me, and she never begrudges me in any way, even though, I'm not home often. She supports me 100%, and I support her 100% of the time; we're there for each other.

She never liked it when she trained under me because I'm not the man she fell in love with or the man she married, once I'm on the floor. When I'm on the floor, she was a student, and nothing else to me. When I'm on the floor, and she's helping out at the dojo, she's my employee, and nothing else to me. Sounds cold, but it's not; it's business!!



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