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Soo Min
Yellow Belt
Joined: 26 Sep 2005
Posts: 27
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 Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:28 am Post subject: Past abuse: What to do? |
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Many years ago I was on this forum, asking for advice about leaving an abusive MA studio.
I was young at the time. I'm an adult now. About 7 years have passed since I left.
I was at a particular studio for 9 years. For the last three of those years, a new teacher began working with us. He caused me a lot of grief in a lot of different ways. I won't go into it. It was bad enough that it still affects me to this day.
I've recently got back into contact with a few people from that era of my life. I told them about this one particular teacher. He had a tendency to pick on me especially--especially since I was one of the few females in the class--and I'm not going to say that this "picking on" never had inappropriate over tones. Anyway these adults claimed that had no idea that this was happening, although I'm not convinced...
Anyway, now that I'm older and looking back, I see how much more disturbing, inappropriate, and unacceptable this particular teacher's behavior was. In fact, it was downright traumatizing. I'm in therapy over it, and I've never really been able to get back into martial arts since...
I recently checked, and he is still teaching children. I'm not sure what to do. Should I do anything? Should I let by-gones be by-gones? |
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DWx
Black Belt
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 6455
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:07 am Post subject: |
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First of all, sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
There's others on the forum that'll probably be better equipped to tell you what to do but I would say report it. Better to have it investigated than to have it in the back of your mind that he could be doing it to other children.
Is he or the dojo part of a larger organisation? Most of them nowadays have welfare officers or child protection officers who are in charge of investigating this stuff and preventing it from happening. If they are a professional organisation they should take an allegation seriously and look into it.
From your past posts it sounds like a terrible school and terrible environment to train in.
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"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius |
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Zaine
Black Belt
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 2279
Location: Dallas, TX
Styles: Matsumura-Seito, Shobayashi-Ryu, Shudokan, Long Fist, American Street Karate, Southern Mantis, HEMA
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 9:51 am Post subject: |
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| DWx wrote: |
First of all, sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
There's others on the forum that'll probably be better equipped to tell you what to do but I would say report it. Better to have it investigated than to have it in the back of your mind that he could be doing it to other children.
Is he or the dojo part of a larger organisation? Most of them nowadays have welfare officers or child protection officers who are in charge of investigating this stuff and preventing it from happening. If they are a professional organisation they should take an allegation seriously and look into it.
From your past posts it sounds like a terrible school and terrible environment to train in. |
I agree whole heartedly, better to report just in case.
_________________
Martial arts training is 30% classroom training, 70% solo training.
https://www.instagram.com/nordic_karate/ |
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Soo Min
Yellow Belt
Joined: 26 Sep 2005
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:11 am Post subject: |
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Thank you both for your replies. I do appreciate it.
I guess I'm not sure who to go to...I'm in the States. The school was a more traditional style WTF Tae Kwon Do school. Seven years ago, my mother went to the owner of the school and was very upset by their discussion because he refused to do anything. Like I said, I'm pretty sure several adults knew that *something* was going on and no one did anything. I'm not sure, however, that they knew the severity of the situation with this one teacher.
I'm confident I'm not his only "victim" either.
So, I don't know who to go to. Of the sub-organization (within WTF) that I remember this school was part of, the owner of the school was the president of the region.
Do I go to the cops? Child Protective Services? Try to reach out to other adults from that situation? Talk to the owner, *again*? Start to threaten a lawsuit for negligence, lol...? |
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Zaine
Black Belt
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 2279
Location: Dallas, TX
Styles: Matsumura-Seito, Shobayashi-Ryu, Shudokan, Long Fist, American Street Karate, Southern Mantis, HEMA
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| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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Usually WTF will look into it if you want to go to them. It's worth a try to talk to the owner and just move up the chain of command. If they find anything they have an obligation to call the authorities. If you want to call the cops though that is also an option.
_________________
Martial arts training is 30% classroom training, 70% solo training.
https://www.instagram.com/nordic_karate/ |
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Patrick
KF Administrator
Joined: 01 May 2001
Posts: 28758
Location: Los Angeles, California
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30188
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR
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| Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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You should look into letting the local authorities in on this, and then going to the WTF itself with any complaints. That would be the way to go, I think. Documentation of anything you experienced would go a long way in helping the case, as well.
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www.haysgym.com
http://www.sunyis.com/
www.aikidoofnorthwestkansas.com |
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sensei8
KF Sensei
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 16430
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]
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| Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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Great advice from all...I wholeheartedly agree with them all. Report!! No one should get away with those type of actions, imho.
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**Proof is on the floor!!! |
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ps1
Black Belt
Joined: 09 Nov 2004
Posts: 3025
Location: NE Ohio
Styles: Chuan Fa, Shotokan, JJJ, BJJ
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| Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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A sicko is a sicko. It doesn't matter if he's a well established and highly respected college football coach, a high profile jiu-jitsu coach with a big team that wins lots of medals, or a relatively unknown TKD instructor. They shouldn't be on the streets. Tell someone about what happened. Let the justice system sort out the rest.
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"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenius." |
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 30188
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE, Police Krav Maga, SPEAR
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| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:05 am Post subject: |
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| ps1 wrote: |
| A sicko is a sicko. It doesn't matter if he's a well established and highly respected college football coach, a high profile jiu-jitsu coach with a big team that wins lots of medals, or a relatively unknown TKD instructor. They shouldn't be on the streets. Tell someone about what happened. Let the justice system sort out the rest. |
Absolutely.
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www.haysgym.com
http://www.sunyis.com/
www.aikidoofnorthwestkansas.com |
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on the post.
