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rhilllakefield
Yellow Belt
Yellow Belt

Joined: 19 May 2010
Posts: 62

Styles: Ishinryu Karate, Jeet Kune Do

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:11 am    Post subject: Would you tell your instructor why you're leaving the club? Reply with quote

Hi folks,

An interesting topic I've been pondering today.

I've been a Karate practitioner on and off since '93, and have since delved into Tai chi while working through some lagging injuries and muscle imbalances.

I've made enough progress that I'm considering a return to Karate.

At one point I'd thought of continuing with Tai Chi (Long form Yang style)
but have reconsidered partially because of my instructor.

Hes a very approachable and generally warm hearted person, however, has a strong tendency to brag about accomplishments, and or supposed chi development.

What really threw me off was in the last week of class, he started slapping himself in the groin claiming that he didn't feel it.......I've been at this a while and haven't experienced anything like that from an instructor. It was fairly comical.

Its made me question his Chi Kung, and generally his practical knowledge.

Also, there's usually enough time spent talking at the beginning of a one hour class, that my monthly fee equates to roughly $65 for 4-45 minute classes per month.

Enough that Ive decided to leave the club at the very least.

Would you tell your instructor if you're leaving because of differences in opinion / attitudes?

Or would you tell him that you're generally dissapointed in the class? or nothing?

Thoughts would be interested!

Thanks

Ryan
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Fat Cobra
Orange Belt
Orange Belt

Joined: 14 Jul 2018
Posts: 237
Location: Fort Drum, NY
Styles: Ryukyu Kempo

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would tell him why you are leaving.

As a karate instructor I would like to know why a student decided to leave class. If he decides to fix the problems you highlight for him it might make him a better instructor. If he does not, well, so be it. You are leaving either way.
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sensei8
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 14807
Location: Houston, TX
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 9:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To tell your instructor or not is up to that practitioner. As an instructor, I really don't care one way or another. Tell me...don't tell me. Students come and go for their own personal reason(s), therefore, it's really none of my business.

Would I notice whenever a student is no longer on the floor?? Yes, especially the longer a student has been with me. However, I'd lose no sleep over it. Seeing that my dojo is a business, the comings and goings of my students is just a part of any business.



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rhilllakefield
Yellow Belt
Yellow Belt

Joined: 19 May 2010
Posts: 62

Styles: Ishinryu Karate, Jeet Kune Do

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you gentleman. It has given me something to think about.

I honestly like the man, and it has made it more difficult. I don't feel like its a good value in terms of training per dollar, and his antics have made me question it even more. I care about his club, so maybe I'll give him something, with a bit of sugar on top.
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sensei8
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 14807
Location: Houston, TX
Styles: Shindokan Saitou-ryu [Shuri-te/Okinawa-te based]

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

rd2022 wrote:
Thank you gentleman. It has given me something to think about.

I honestly like the man, and it has made it more difficult. I don't feel like its a good value in terms of training per dollar, and his antics have made me question it even more. I care about his club, so maybe I'll give him something, with a bit of sugar on top.

Train where your heart is, and without any obligations whatsoever. It's your journey as well as your money.



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DWx
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 6214
Location: UK
Styles: Tae Kwon Do & Yang family Tai Chi

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally would tell him. Best is he may reevaluate what he's doing and change, worst is he gets upset (but if you're leaving it won't matter).
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Wado Heretic
Green Belt
Green Belt

Joined: 23 May 2014
Posts: 412
Location: United Kingdom, England, Shropshire
Styles: Wado-Ryu , Kobayashi Shorin-Ryu (Kodokan), RyuKyu Kobojutsu

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you have been a consistent student and have developed a friendly dynamic with the teacher: I would advise informing him you will no longer be attending. Frankly, I do believe honesty is the best policy, but at the same time if you are committed to moving on offering last-minute insight and critique is futile. It will simply come across as hurtful and flippant.

If you were a senior student, and your intent was to help the club out by correcting the instructor in their conduct, and you were committed to staying and seeing the matter through: you have an obligation to express this to help the club and the instructor. I have in the past gently nudged instructors on attitudes which have come across as misogynistic or their use of language. Most have been ignorant of this, being products of their generation, and have generally been receptive to the input. Mostly because I have made sure to present it as not a criticism or judgement, but a desire to help.

Now, speaking more broadly, if you had been an inconsistent student and had attended for only 3-4 months I would advise just to stop attending. If they get in touch to ask why: just state you have other commitments. There is no point getting into a back-and-forth with someone you have removed from your life already.

Now, if someone does something profoundly offensive, or reckless, and that is why you are leaving: report them to their association, and/or the appropriate authority. You have a duty of care to other people that could come to harm under the auspices of a bad instructor.
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rhilllakefield
Yellow Belt
Yellow Belt

Joined: 19 May 2010
Posts: 62

Styles: Ishinryu Karate, Jeet Kune Do

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you very much guys. I appreciate the responses

Ive been a consistent student, but for just shy of a year of training.

The class is very small, with ususlly only myself and one oe two more. The Kung fu class is larger.

I may leave it for now, unless he asks. Otherwise if I did decide to stay id be more inclined to offer feedback.

Thanks again.

Nothing is dangerous at all.....just odd, and slightly unprofessional.

Ryan
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bushido_man96
KF Sensei
KF Sensei

Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 28074
Location: Hays, KS
Styles: Taekwondo, Combat Hapkido, Aikido, GRACIE

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As an instructor, he has probably dealt with students leaving in the past, and as an instructor, he will continue to deal with it in the future. It is the nature of the beast.

Everyone here has offered sound advice. I, personally, would probably just offer up to him that I would not be renewing my membership, and thank him for his time. If he asked why, and was persistent, then I would consider offering up my reasons for leaving. As noted previously, he may perhaps take them into account as he progresses himself.
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