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shinaido
Yellow Belt
Joined: 24 May 2014
Posts: 28
Location: United Kingdom
Styles: Shin ai do karate, Wrestling
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 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:47 am Post subject: |
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Hi
I think your MI should speak with her about situation, give her chance to improve her behavior. But openly let her know that this is not acceptable in your Dojo. If she not improve stop her attendance for week, if that will not help she should leave.
In our club grading is once a year and instructor say who is ready and who is not, but for our group belts are side effect of training not main target 
Good luck dealing with people is difficult.
Regards Les
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jaypo
Purple Belt
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Posts: 520
Styles: Shotokan, Shorin Ryu
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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Another hitch in the story, I found out, is that my M.I. has been attempting to have that meeting, but she keeps avoiding it. He's constantly training classes and private students when he's off of work. So the only time he has free is after class. Well, the other night, she bolted out of class and left the gym.
We're meeting at 5:00 today before class. I'll post an update Monday. Thanks for all of the advice!
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Seek Perfection of Character
Be Faithful
Endeavor
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Refrain from violent behavior. |
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Archimoto
Purple Belt
Joined: 12 Apr 2014
Posts: 548
Styles: JKD / Muay Thai / TKD
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:44 am Post subject: |
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I like how you're approaching this situation. We have a responsibility as martial artists to be decent human beings. Trying to help her turn this around is the right thing to do. Ultimately she may have to go or be asked to leave, but you'll know that've you tried.
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To quote the great Bob Marley: "LOVE IS MY RELIGION" |
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mal103
Purple Belt
Joined: 21 May 2011
Posts: 559
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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| shinaido wrote: |
| ... instructor say who is ready and who is not, but for our group belts are side effect of training not main target ..... |
Perfect attitude!
You should really try to speak with her and see if there is another problem or try to get her to understand its more about training and not being better than someone else or thinking you should be at a certain level, belt colour etc.
I have seen a few belt chasers who almost demand to grade because they have put in the time or have already worked out when they will get their Black belt based on the time/date of the next gradings.
Utter rubbish approach, the Sensei who has gone before should be the guide to the students and let them know when they can advance, the best students will question the Sensei and ask for re-assurance that they are ready, not demand it.
I only give grading forms to those who are ready, those that get upset because they didn't get one will soon leave. They don't get the MA, it's not in the colour around the waste it's about the ..... in the heart.
I couldn't decide which word to insert above so left it as .....
humility, respect, consideration, valour, hard work.... - you decide. |
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jaypo
Purple Belt
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Posts: 520
Styles: Shotokan, Shorin Ryu
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:21 am Post subject: |
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I also just found out another wrinkle in the story this weekend. About 6 months ago, our club underwent a big structural change. We've been growing substantially over the last year, and we had to appoint a new Deshi and shuffle around some personnel to handle things such as accounting, scheduling, etc. One change was that a certain Nidan was put in charge of belt tests, scheduling, and he has a big voice in the grading process. I just found out that the student in question assumed she would be testing for the same rank as the ladies she started with, but the Nidan that handles belt tests has her testing for a lower rank based on her skills and knowledge, which I think is appropriate. When she found out about his decision, she made the comment that "He has no authority". I also know that she disagrees with his methods of instruction (when he runs a class in the M.I.'s absence) because he is firm on basics and discipline.
We have a class tonight, and we'll be discussing the tests that will be held this weekend. I'll post an update!
_________________
Seek Perfection of Character
Be Faithful
Endeavor
Respect others
Refrain from violent behavior. |
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mal103
Purple Belt
Joined: 21 May 2011
Posts: 559
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:50 am Post subject: |
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She sounds like the sort of student that will be blaming the instructors if she fails or trying to state they don't know what they are doing.
"He has no authority" - sounds exactly like the second part, the Nidan is further along the MA journey/path than she is so should be respected (although a few don't deserve it but thats another post)
A keen Nidan, hot on basics and very firm, trying to maintain good standards....
Sounds familiar |
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ineluki
Yellow Belt
Joined: 06 Jul 2004
Posts: 57
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| jaypo wrote: |
| I also just found out another wrinkle in the story this weekend. |
Well, it does not change much.
By disrespecting the Nidan she is basically disrespecting the Master who appointed him.
It should be made clear that she has to stop this or find some place to train that values her great insight. |
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mazzybear
Brown Belt
Joined: 30 Oct 2013
Posts: 675
Location: Scotland.
Styles: Wado Kai
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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She sounds delightful  I think she needs to be put firmly in her place, no respect for her Sensei or senior ranks, this in my opinion should simply not be tolerated. Ok maybe let it slide once, everybody has bad days after all, but she continues to show a complete lack of respect to all around her. It will come to the point where nobody wants to train with her due to her attitude. It definately would put me off that's for sure. I go to classes to learn, be it from my instructor, other Dan grades, senior Kyu grades or even junior Kyu grades, I think everbody has something to offer, but this lady seems to think she knows it all already and in Martial arts that can be very, VERY dangerous. But to be honest I don't think she'll stick around much longer, she clearly has a problem withh, for lack of a better word, authority and will probably leave when she realises she can't have things her way.
M.
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Be water, my friend. |
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jaypo
Purple Belt
Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Posts: 520
Styles: Shotokan, Shorin Ryu
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:16 am Post subject: |
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Mazzybear, you're exactly right. I was talking to one of the ladies that started with her last night, and she claims that the student believes that she is as good as the other 2. As I stated before, "C" is a level above the other 2. "S" is average to above average, and the student in question, "K", is below average, but she feels that she's as good, if not better than "C".
Our Sensei's daughter is a black belt, and she's very, very good. She spars very hard but with control. I think that for this test, if she should choose to go thru with it, she needs to do her kumite with Sensei's daughter. That would show her humility! But from observing her last few classes, I'm pretty sure that she will fumble greatly on kata, kihon, and bunkai.
_________________
Seek Perfection of Character
Be Faithful
Endeavor
Respect others
Refrain from violent behavior. |
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Nidan Melbourne
KF Sempai
Joined: 21 Aug 2013
Posts: 2359
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Styles: Goju-Ryu, BJJ, Balintawak Arnis
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| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| jaypo wrote: |
Mazzybear, you're exactly right. I was talking to one of the ladies that started with her last night, and she claims that the student believes that she is as good as the other 2. As I stated before, "C" is a level above the other 2. "S" is average to above average, and the student in question, "K", is below average, but she feels that she's as good, if not better than "C".
Our Sensei's daughter is a black belt, and she's very, very good. She spars very hard but with control. I think that for this test, if she should choose to go thru with it, she needs to do her kumite with Sensei's daughter. That would show her humility! But from observing her last few classes, I'm pretty sure that she will fumble greatly on kata, kihon, and bunkai. |
From what i have read this lady needs a right old butt kicking during kumite.
It is really bad if she is disrespecting a senior person. The nidan was put in charge for a good reason. I love instructors who are firm on basics and discipline.
I admit freely i can be cheeky as hell during class but i know when not to do it. And only do it with people who understand that it is making things more comfortable for us to work. Especially when it works as a distraction for me to get the advantage if we are doing kumite.
When we grade students if they have been frustating as hell during class and been showing poor behaviour during their training like this lady has we push them even harder. We do it to the others as well. |
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on the post.
